November 19th / 21st
"We Need a Voter Education Exam"
If the recent election taught us anything, it is that most people aren't
qualified to vote. For one thing, right wing nuts like Sarah Palin (and
George W. Bush before her) have succeeded in dumbing down Americans by making
it chic to be ignorant. Tea partiers like Palin, Christine O'Donnell, and
Michelle Bachman spew all sorts of garbage, then they whine when reporters
challenge the truthfulness of their trash. Clarence Page of the Chicago
Tribune said these candidates feel, "that the media are treating them unfairly
by quoting them accurately". Sadly, a lot of voters identify with these
air-head candidates, and feel their pain when the nasty old press dares to
question them.
Former CBS correspondent Terrance Smith is appalled by this phenomena,
telling CNN, "the public has a right to have candidates seriously examined on
their background and policies". But even if candidates were "seriously
examined", it probably wouldn't matter to millions of voters who routinely turn
a deaf ear to facts, and instead rely on Republican talking points and FOX
ranters for their news.
Case in point, during the debate on healthcare reform, Congresswoman
Virginia Foxx announced that the Democrat plan would establish death panels to
decide when elderly people should die. Foxx's statement was not only
inaccurate, it was also cruel and ludicrous, yet people believed her. In fact,
pollster Cordell Belcher reports that one third of voters in the 2010 election still believe that
Obama's healthcare plan includes death panels. And, if you want further
proof that most voters are stupid, then ponder this conundrum. Millions of
people went to the polls angry about the recession and unemployment, then voted
to return Republicans to power who created the economic crisis in the
first place.
As an American who reads newspapers and gathers information from a myriad
of sources every day, I am offended by the sheer magnitude of voter
stupidity in this country, so much so, that I am proposing we should require every
citizen to pass a test before they are allowed to vote. Here's how it
would work.
Each state would create a standardized test called the Voter Education
Exam, which would be administered in person at DMV offices for a limited
period of time each year. The exam would consist of 50 multiple choice
questions, half of which would focus on federal civics, and half on state
government. Some of the questions might include:
- Which branch of government makes laws?
- Which legislative body makes treaties?
- What is the term of a United States Congressman?
- How many United States Senators are elected from North Carolina?
- Who is the Governor of North Carolina?
- What state agency regulates Blue Cross Blue Shield?
In order to pass, you must answer all 50 questions correctly. No grading
on a curve. If you fail, you cannot vote in the next election. You may retake
the exam the following year, but if you fail three times in a row (the
questions never change), you are banned from ever voting again because you
are hopelessly stupid. Voting may be an individual act, but its consequences
are global. That's why the VEE will help to weed out people who make
uniformed choices which impact on the rest of us. I realize that my proposal
may seem slanted against ignorant Republicans, but there are plenty of
ignorant Democrats as well, and the exam would test all comers fairly.
And if the thought of taking a voter education exam seems radical to you,
then consider that we already take tests in order to graduate from high
school and college. We take tests to get a law license and to practice
medicine. We take tests to be able to style hair, sell real estate, and drive a
car. Why not then require every American citizen to pass a test to
demonstrate their ability to vote intelligently? Of course, that would exempt
President Obama because he wasn't born in this country, plus, he's spending
$200 million dollars a day to travel to his homeland in Indonesia to find his
birth certificate. Anyway, that's what Michelle Bachman says, so it must
be true.
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