December 11th / 13th, 2009
"Tiger’s Big Drive (and why it matters)"
For anyone who says Tiger Woods’ car crash is a victimless crime, and that
what happened between him and his wife is none of our business, I have two
words for you: Phil Hartman. In 1988, the multi talented SNL comedian was
murdered by his wife, who then turned the gun on herself. The incident took
two lives, and orphaned two others.
We don’t know for certain if domestic violence was involved in the Woods
case, but I don’t believe that Tiger’s wife Elin took a 9-iron to the
windows of his Escalade because she wanted to extract him from the car. What we
do know is that Tiger has had extra marital affairs, and that Elin wasn’t
happy about it. Speculation is that Elin launched into a tirade about one of
her husband’s mistresses, causing Tiger to flee the house barefoot at 2:30
in the morning, get into his car, and drive it into a fire hydrant and a
tree. We’re also not clear about whether Elin chased Woods with the golf
club, or if she had anything to do with the blood on his lip. Details are
sketchy, but the circumstances and Tiger’s refusal to cooperate with police,
indicate more than just a desire for privacy. The Woods’ marriage is clearly
in crisis, and if any form of domestic violence was involved by or on either
spouse, then it is anything but a private matter. Here’s why.
According to menweb.org, 1.5 million women and 835,000 men are victims of
domestic violence each year. And while men abusers tend to inflict more
physical damage, women abusers can be just as lethal. So much so, that, here
in America, a man is battered by his spouse every 38 seconds, and that
battery includes physical, mental, and emotional abuse.
No doubt we have made great strides in dealing with domestic violence
against women, as evidenced by the fact that more wives are coming forward to
report such incidents. But we as a society have done nothing to encourage
men to report similar abuses. That’s because laws are written mainly by men,
and men don’t want to admit that they can be abused by a woman. Still,
these domestic abuses occur, and, if left unreported, may escalate into more
serious crimes. It is undeniable, for example, that the single most dangerous
call for a policeman to respond to is one involving domestic violence.
Moreover, by ignoring or covering up such disputes, we are also putting
another population at risk. According to the National Family Violence Legislative
Resource Center, domestic abuse victimizes children of the marriage. Just
witnessing violent arguments between parents can damage the children, and
can shape their behavior for later life. And of course, when domestic
violence escalates, children can be hurt physically as well as emotionally.
Washington Post columnist Kathleen Parker wrote, “the notion that Woods
owes America an explanation is based only on the fact that he is a celebrity”.
Nothing could be further from the truth. Any citizen, Tiger included,
should always be forthcoming in these kinds of situations, if for no other
reason than to give the proper authorities an opportunity to assess not just
the incident itself, but how it might impact on the family going forward.
I hope that reports of Elin slapping or scratching Tiger are not true, and
that she didn’t smash his car window out of anger (although Lord knows,
her response would have been understandable given Tiger’s propensity for
bedding other women). In any event, full disclosure with authorities might have
triggered court ordered therapy and anger management classes, either of
which might prevent future domestic disturbances.
True enough, a heated argument between husband and wife can sometimes be
healthy. But it can also be an indicator that violence is just around the
corner. This time, Elin Wood might have reacted to Tiger’s cheating by
yelling, scratching, or swinging a golf club at a car window. But what happens if
Tiger cheats again? No one is saying Elin Woods would snap, but if we
write off last week’s incident as a private matter with no consequences, we may
be writing off a bigger problem, that of domestic violence, and the
devastating effect it can have on families and communities. And I’m not just
talking about Elin’s alleged violent reaction to her husband’s indiscretions.
Earlier this year, Tiger reacted angrily at a bad shot, and flung his
driver into the gallery, nearly striking a spectator. It wasn’t the first such
incident, and thus far, the spoiled superstar has been lucky that no one has
been seriously injured by his tantrums. In that regard, he is just as
capable of domestic violence as is a scorned wife.
For now, Tiger needs to keep his putter in his pants, apologize to his
wife, and insist they attend marital counseling together. It’s time for them
to either grow up or grow apart. I just hope they figure it out before
someone in the gallery really gets hurt.
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