Last week was replete with stories about people who share a common affinity. First there was Michael Smith, a northern redneck from Maine, who walked out onto his front yard to yell at a state contractor for cutting down dangerous trees on his property. A few hours later, Smith awoke from a nap to find himself surrounded by a team of SWAT cops. Why? Because when confronting the timber men, Smith was shirtless, thus revealing what appeared to be a Glock tucked into the front of his pants. Upon closer inspection, the police discovered that the gun was actually a tattoo. It gave a whole new meaning to the phrase “draw your weapon”.
Meanwhile, a Brooklyn man caught a lot of heat last week when he had his dog shaved and tattooed, not with a small series of numbers for emergency ID, but with a large red heart pierced by a cupid’s arrow. I’m not sure if the guy is having an affair with his dog, or if he just likes tattoos. Either way, the procedure was kind of creepy.
Then there was last week’s Glamour magazine cover which featured Lena Dunham. Dunham is the recently crowned wunderkind of Hollywood because she produces and stars in the over-rated TV series “Girls”. Dunham’s signature schtick is appearing nude in almost every episode, however, she is well dressed for the Glamour cover. The problem is that her dress is sleeveless which shows off a very large and unattractive tattoo. What were the Glamour editors thinking? There is nothing glamorous about a grimy-looking tattoo on a woman’s arm. Even Kanye West had a melt down over the magazine’s decision to feature Dunham, because his wife Kim, though devoid of talent, does not look like a convict, and would have been a more appropriate choice for the cover.
Finally there was the Winston-Salem Journal story last week about 28-year-old Corey Raynor. Corey, it seems had body art inked all over his back while in a drunken state, then developed what is known as tattoo remorse. The original tat cost him $200, but now he’s having to pay Carolina Laser and Cosmetic Center $3,000 to have the ink removed. Not only is tattoo removal expensive, it is painful. Raynor told the Journal’s Richard Craver that the pain was “greater than a 10, almost unbearable”.
In fact there are all sorts of pain which can result from tattoos. For one thing, there are health risks, including hepatitis, herpes, HIV, staph, tetanus, and tuberculosis. Then there’s the pain of underemployment. According to a 2011 study by CareerBuilder, 31% of surveyed employers ranked “having a visible tattoo” as the top personal attribute that would dissuade them from promoting an employee.
But even given these economic and health risks, the number of people getting tattoos continues to rise. A Pew Research Center study finds that 45 million Americans have at least one tattoo, and they spend upwards of $1.6 billion dollars per year to do so. Moreover, 31% of inked-up folks say tattoos make them feel more sexy, while 5% say that a tat makes them feel more intelligent (the guy in Maine disproves that).
So here’s my question. Why are so many people getting tattoos despite the stigma, costs, health risks, and potential loss of earning power? Perhaps a few of our more outspoken sports journalists have hit on the answer. Guys like Jason Whitlock, a prominent African American columnist, who said of the new thug look, “Popular culture has so eroded the symbolic core principles at the root of America’s love affair with sports, that many modern athletes believe their allegiance to gangster culture takes precedence over their allegiance to the sports culture that made them rich and famous”.
And by disrespecting the traditions of their sport, athletes have also made tattoos the cool thing to have, whether you’re a shirtless idiot in Maine, or a teenage girl who thinks it’s neat to despoil her body.
Of course, tattooing isn’t a new phenomena. In Moby Dick, Queequeg the harpooner sported massive tattoos which had been applied by a tribal elder who hid encrypted theories on astrology within the designs. Perhaps that’s what’s happening now. Maybe all these gangstas, rednecks, and impressionable youth are actually cosmic geniuses who are leading us to the promised land. Or maybe not. In any event, perhaps the solution to the downside of tattoos is to get the washable kind which can vanish without consequence.
As I reported a couple of years ago, there was a man in England who claimed to be the world’s biggest fan of Miley Cyrus because he had over a dozen permanent tattoos of the singer put all over his body. Of course that guy could have just gotten temporary tattoos which would have saved him money and still showed his love for Miley. After all, what could be more appropriate than a “Henna” Montana?
Tats and Asses
Last week was replete with stories about people who share a common affinity. First there was Michael Smith, a northern redneck from Maine, who walked out onto his front yard to yell at a state contractor for cutting down dangerous trees on his property. A few hours later, Smith awoke from a nap to find himself surrounded by a team of SWAT cops. Why? Because when confronting the timber men, Smith was shirtless, thus revealing what appeared to be a Glock tucked into the front of his pants. Upon closer inspection, the police discovered that the gun was actually a tattoo. It gave a whole new meaning to the phrase “draw your weapon”.
Meanwhile, a Brooklyn man caught a lot of heat last week when he had his dog shaved and tattooed, not with a small series of numbers for emergency ID, but with a large red heart pierced by a cupid’s arrow. I’m not sure if the guy is having an affair with his dog, or if he just likes tattoos. Either way, the procedure was kind of creepy.
Then there was last week’s Glamour magazine cover which featured Lena Dunham. Dunham is the recently crowned wunderkind of Hollywood because she produces and stars in the over-rated TV series “Girls”. Dunham’s signature schtick is appearing nude in almost every episode, however, she is well dressed for the Glamour cover. The problem is that her dress is sleeveless which shows off a very large and unattractive tattoo. What were the Glamour editors thinking? There is nothing glamorous about a grimy-looking tattoo on a woman’s arm. Even Kanye West had a melt down over the magazine’s decision to feature Dunham, because his wife Kim, though devoid of talent, does not look like a convict, and would have been a more appropriate choice for the cover.
Finally there was the Winston-Salem Journal story last week about 28-year-old Corey Raynor. Corey, it seems had body art inked all over his back while in a drunken state, then developed what is known as tattoo remorse. The original tat cost him $200, but now he’s having to pay Carolina Laser and Cosmetic Center $3,000 to have the ink removed. Not only is tattoo removal expensive, it is painful. Raynor told the Journal’s Richard Craver that the pain was “greater than a 10, almost unbearable”.
In fact there are all sorts of pain which can result from tattoos. For one thing, there are health risks, including hepatitis, herpes, HIV, staph, tetanus, and tuberculosis. Then there’s the pain of underemployment. According to a 2011 study by CareerBuilder, 31% of surveyed employers ranked “having a visible tattoo” as the top personal attribute that would dissuade them from promoting an employee.
But even given these economic and health risks, the number of people getting tattoos continues to rise. A Pew Research Center study finds that 45 million Americans have at least one tattoo, and they spend upwards of $1.6 billion dollars per year to do so. Moreover, 31% of inked-up folks say tattoos make them feel more sexy, while 5% say that a tat makes them feel more intelligent (the guy in Maine disproves that).
So here’s my question. Why are so many people getting tattoos despite the stigma, costs, health risks, and potential loss of earning power? Perhaps a few of our more outspoken sports journalists have hit on the answer. Guys like Jason Whitlock, a prominent African American columnist, who said of the new thug look, “Popular culture has so eroded the symbolic core principles at the root of America’s love affair with sports, that many modern athletes believe their allegiance to gangster culture takes precedence over their allegiance to the sports culture that made them rich and famous”.
And by disrespecting the traditions of their sport, athletes have also made tattoos the cool thing to have, whether you’re a shirtless idiot in Maine, or a teenage girl who thinks it’s neat to despoil her body.
Of course, tattooing isn’t a new phenomena. In Moby Dick, Queequeg the harpooner sported massive tattoos which had been applied by a tribal elder who hid encrypted theories on astrology within the designs. Perhaps that’s what’s happening now. Maybe all these gangstas, rednecks, and impressionable youth are actually cosmic geniuses who are leading us to the promised land. Or maybe not. In any event, perhaps the solution to the downside of tattoos is to get the washable kind which can vanish without consequence.
As I reported a couple of years ago, there was a man in England who claimed to be the world’s biggest fan of Miley Cyrus because he had over a dozen permanent tattoos of the singer put all over his body. Of course that guy could have just gotten temporary tattoos which would have saved him money and still showed his love for Miley. After all, what could be more appropriate than a “Henna” Montana?