Olympics a Mix of Skills and Distractions

The Olympic Rings displayed on the Eiffel Tower in Paris in 2024

The Olympic Rings displayed on the Eiffel Tower in Paris in 2024

I know this isn’t a profound thought, but athletic events should be about athletics not social issues, scandal, or controversy. The Olympics should be a competitive celebration of individual achievement, and for the most part, it is. Simone Biles, for example, was fun to watch as she displayed individual excellence, and the athleticism of America’s synchronized divers was jaw dropping. But this year’s Olympic games have also been marred by distractions of one kind or another. 

Before the athletes even suited up, billions of viewers had to first endure a parade of drag queens who went on to recreate a perceived living version of The Lord’s Last Supper. Later came the Canadian drone scandal, the controversy over the gender of an Algerian boxer, and a misogynist announcer who implied that female athletes are best suited to housework. Also tainting the fun was pollution of the Seine River, terrorist threats, bomb threats, a COVID outbreak in aquatics, the possibility of bedbug infestation, a rise in the number of tiger mosquitos, a Japanese gymnast sent home for smoking, Caitlin Clarke omitted from the women’s basketball team, raw meat being served at the Olympic village, Chinese women swimmers allowed to compete after having been found taking PEDs only weeks before, and the discovery that an Australian surfing judge was friendly with one of that country’s surfers. Bottom line: controversy is not fun, and it distracts from the games.

So, what’s the solution? Twenty years ago, late-night icon David Letterman offered a way to improve the Olympics. He invited 10 medal winners from the 2004 Olympics to help him present his Top 10 list. The category was: “Top Ten Ways to Make the Olympics More Fun.”

  • 10: (Cara Kirk, silver medalist in the 400-meter swimming relay): “Gymnasts allowed to smoke during floor exercises.”
  • 9: (Lindsay Benko, gold and silver medalist in swimming): “Require Dutch track and field team to wear wooden shoes.”
  • 8: (Rulan Gardner, bronze medal weight lifter): “Replace pummel horse with a real horse.”
  • 7: (Ally Cox, silver medal winner in women’s rowing): “Long jump, followed by high jump, followed by wide jump.”
  • 6: (Patricia Miranda, bronze medalist in free-stye wrestling): “Try to make every event a little more like Yahtzee.”
  • 5: (Pete Cippoloni, gold medal winner for men’s Rowing): “High dive tank full of sharks.”
  • 4: (Susan William, bronze medalist for women’s triathlon): “Loser slots at the Olympic village.”
  • 3: (Maurice Green, bronze medal winner in the 100-yard dash): “Instead of the National Anthem, play something by Usher.”
  • 2: (Sarah McMahon, silver medalist in women’s free-style wrestling): “We got badminton. What could be more fun than that?”
  • 1: (Gary Hall, gold and bronze medal winner in swimming): “Two words — Nude Fencing.”

I don’t know about nude fencing, but the IOC actually has enacted changes over the years to make the Olympics more fun. The problem is that in doing so, the committee has created controversy of its own by diluting and disparaging the true spirit of the ancient games. Sure, beach volleyball is a fun activity. So is ping pong, flag football, break dancing, and badminton. But those so-called “sports” don’t belong in the Olympics, and neither do men’s and women’s basketball for that matter. After all, the Olympics should test individual achievement by amateur athletes. What we have now are professional teams competing against each other. Don’t get me wrong, it’s exciting to watch Lebron and his teammates demolish foreign roundball squads, but those games belong in a world basketball tournament not in the Olympics.

Today it seems that just about anything can become an Olympic sport. Comedian Tracy Morgan recently told Jimmy Fallon that he was, “Competing in a knish and roast beef contest.” Don’t laugh, it might come to pass. At any rate, I hope that when the next summer Olympics rolls around it will be devoid of controversial distractions and inappropriate “sports,” so that we can just focus on more traditional events, like nude fencing.

 
 

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