Triad Today

Late last month, Charlotte City Council opened up a can of worms about how men and women use the can. Specifically its new ordinance would have allowed transgender persons to use public restrooms based on the gender to which they identify. The ordinance was to go into effect on April 1. In response, the North Carolina General Assembly met in special session last week and passed HB2, The Public Facilities and Privacy Act, which, in effect, vacated the Queen City ordinance. Since then, a host of corporations, organizations, news agencies, columnists, and elected officials have criticized HB2. Some have even threatened to punish our State with bans, boycotts, and relocation.

The NBA issued a statement on March 24 which implied that it might not hold its All-Star game in Charlotte next year unless HB2 is repealed. Meanwhile, Facebook, Apple, American Airlines, PayPal, and other companies have publicly condemned HB2, implying the threat of moving their operations out of the State. Then there’s San Francisco Mayor Ed Lee who has banned his employees from any non-essential travel to North Carolina. Adding fuel to the fire was Greensboro News & Record columnist Susan Ladd who wrote that passage of HB2 “conflicts with Title IX gender equity law, possibly risking $4 billion in federal education funds.” The AP reported that the new law will “deal a blow to the LGBT movement,” while the Charlotte Observer said HB2 nullifies local ordinances that would protect gays from being fired due to sexual orientation. The problem is that all of these knee jerk threats and reactions are based on misinformation.

First of all, the Charlotte ordinance not only would have allowed transgender persons to use the public facility of their choice, it would have required private businesses to, for example, accommodate transgender men who identify as a woman, to use women’s restrooms and locker rooms. In so doing, Charlotte Council superseded its authority under the State Constitution. Thus, the ordinance forced the General Assembly to act, and it did so in a bipartisan fashion. Eleven House Democrats voted for HB2, and when a number of Senate Democrats were prepared to do the same, Democrat leaders staged a walk-out, claiming they had not been allowed to participate in the process. The walk-out was politically motivated and disingenuous.

Governor McCrory told the News & Record, “I empathize with (transgender) people on this issue, but that doesn’t mean that 99 percent of people have to adjust to empathize with a few people who are dealing with a very tough issue.” McCrory was right. Charlotte City Council acted irresponsibly, and demonstrated a brazen disregard for the privacy rights of the so-called 99 percent.

Now to the myths being propagated by critics of HB2. Contrary to what Ms. Ladd opined, North Carolina is not necessarily at risk of losing $4 billion in federal education funds because at least one federal court has already ruled against such action in a similar case. And what about all of the companies lining up to say how appalled they are by HB2? Perhaps they should have read the bill more carefully before taking a stand. The fact is that HB2 allows private businesses and universities to accommodate transgender employees and customers in any way they so choose, and they can adopt any non-discrimination policy they want. Moreover, HB2 allows private and public facilities to offer single-use bathrooms, where only one person (of any gender) can occupy the facility at a time. And HB2 places no restrictions on restrooms and locker rooms at privately owned sports facilities. In addition, the AP was wrong in stating that HB2 dealt a blow to gays and lesbians. And, the Charlotte Observer was wrong in reporting that HB2 would allow employers to discriminate against anyone based on their sexual orientation. HB2 clearly states that North Carolina opposes discriminatory hiring practices, and affirms that the Human Relations Commission of the Department of Administration will review all charges of discrimination filed by the EEOC.

Much of the heated rhetoric and misguided ill will about HB2 stems from people who believe that gays and lesbians are somehow being targeted and discriminated against by the new law. It does not and they are not. In large part, it is a combative and uncompromising transgender movement that triggered this recent firestorm. Further, as I pointed out in my columns of June 15, 2013 and December 2, 2015, parents of Transgender students have largely been the driving force behind the movement’s vitriolic campaign for unrealistic reforms when it comes to use of public facilities.

When threatened with legal action by parents of alleged transgender students, school officials in Illinois, Colorado, Massachusetts, and other states have tried to accommodate the needs of those students by offering any number of compromises, none of which were acceptable to the parents. One Colorado principal offered a male transgender student the use of the school nurse’s private bathroom, but the boy’s parents demanded that their son be allowed use of the girls’ restrooms and locker rooms instead. Enlightened educators in those states are sympathetic to transgender students, but they also have a responsibility to meet the needs of and protect all children under their care. One District 211 school official told the Chicago Tribune, “The students in our schools are teenagers, not adults, and one’s gender is not the same as one’s anatomy. Our responsibility as school administrators is to protect the privacy rights of all of our students.” In addition, Andrew Beckwith of the Massachusetts Family Institute told the AP, “Boys need to use boys’ restrooms, and we base that on anatomical sex, not some sort of internalized gender identity.” Beckwith also warned that policies being forced upon local schools by federal courts, “put transgender kids at higher risk for ‘peer ostracism, victimization, and bullying.”

LGBT advocacy groups in Charlotte and other cities have pushed their agenda on politicians who want to appear politically correct, but they’ve only gained traction when attaching their cause to those of gays, lesbians, and bisexuals. Frankly that act is wearing a bit thin. Roughly 60 percent of North Carolinians support same sex marriage, but that same percentage is opposed to biological men using women’s restrooms. Meanwhile many gays and lesbians are none too happy about having their fight for equal rights lumped into a battle over gender identity. Gays and lesbians are in a constant struggle to obtain and retain their basic rights, like the right to secure a marriage license from religious nuts in the magistrate’s office, their right to adopt children, their right to make medical decisions for each other, and their right not to be discriminated against in the workplace. In other words, gays, lesbians, and bisexuals only want the same rights as everyone else – no special accommodations, no special privileges. Nor do gays and lesbians make demands that will inconvenience or otherwise violate the privacy rights of others. The same cannot be said of the transgender movement.

No doubt the North Carolina General Assembly is riddled with a few backward thinking homophobes who will hopefully be replaced this fall, but threats from the transgender movement do nothing to advance the causes that are so crucial to a better quality of life for gays, lesbians and bisexuals. That’s why it’s time for the LGBT movement to jettison the “T” from their name, and focus on their singular cause, which should not be encumbered by the demands of persons who are no longer comfortable with their own gender.
 
 

Next Saturday the ACLU will hold its annual Liberty Awards ceremony in Chapel Hill. Darryl Hunt was scheduled to appear and be honored for his work in promoting justice and ending the death penalty. Sadly, that much-deserved award will now be made posthumously. Darryl died on March 12, at the age of 51.

In 1984 Darryl was wrongfully accused and later convicted of murdering Deborah Sykes, a former copy editor at the Twin City Sentinel. He spent nearly 20 years in prison, all the while professing his innocence. Finally on December 22, 2003, Willard Brown confessed to the murder and Darryl was released from prison two days later. His conviction was formally vacated on February 6, 2004. Several weeks later Darryl appeared on Triad Today for his first in-depth television interview since being freed. It would be the first of many visits he would make to our studio, mostly to talk about his Project for Innocence and Justice.

Over the past year, Darryl battled depression and stage IV cancer. On March 13, police found him locked inside of his car, dead from what they described as a selfinflicted gunshot wound. Those of us who knew Darryl were shocked and saddened by the way he left us, but thankful that he was finally at peace.

Much has been written about this quiet, humble man, but I thought it best to let Darryl speak for himself. As such, what follows are excerpts from some of the conversations we had on Triad Today over the years.

(March 3, 2004) JL: If I were in your place, I would be so angry at the system, at the
District Attorney, at everybody. Yet you seem to have this aura of inner peace about you. How is that?

DH: I just use my faith, My faith keeps me strong. It kept me strong while I was in prison.

JL: But you were locked up for nearly twenty years for something you didn’t do. What was going through your mind all that time?

DH: Well it’s human nature that you become angry, but I relied on my faith, and I truly believe that if you really believe in God, then you let God handle the difficult problems.

JL: Was there ever a time when you were ready to give up and say, “I might as well commit suicide because I’m going to be in here forever?” Did anything like that go through your mind?

DH: No, not suicide, but you get to the point where things just continue to go wrong, so you really have to draw on your faith. That’s what I used to do because it was just days of depression, and I was always asking God
“Are you listening?” Then it would seem like I would get a letter or card from somebody, and that would be His answer to my question.

JL: Some people, even some members of the Sykes family still think you had something to do with Deborah’s murder. How do you feel about that, and do you understand why they think that way? was told the same things for twenty years, you tend to believe that, and it becomes engrained in you. So when somebody comes up to you and says, “What we told you wasn’t the truth, now this is the truth”, now it’s up to you to let go of whatever it was. Truth is sometimes like that. The Sykes family lost their daughter, and that’s hard in itself. You can’t replace a daughter.

JL: How was it being married while you were in prison?

DH: The day that we was married was the day after the Supreme Court had turned me down for a new trial. So I didn’t think we was going to get married because the chances of ever getting out was looking slimmer.

JL: You thought you’d be in prison forever?

DH: Yeah. So she (April) told me I must be crazy. She said, “This is forever. If I don’t get you in this lifetime, I’ll get you in the next.”

JL: Pretty romantic.

DH: Yeah. She’s always been my rock.

The person that I always count on.

JL: Anything you regret about your life before all this happened? Anything you’ve tried to work on?

DH: My biggest and only regret that I have about my prior life is that I dropped out of school.

JL: But you’re going back to school now.

DH: Yes, at Winston Salem State.

JL: What do you want to do with the rest of your life?

DH: I want the Darryl Hunt Defense Committee to be changed to the Committee for Social Justice, to help guys who are in prison find a nice job coming out of prison.

(February 15, 2006) A documentary, “The Trials of Darryl Hunt” had recently been shown at film festivals around the country, and was

DH: Yes I understand it because if you scheduled for a screening at the Stevens Center in April.

JL: The documentary tells about how, at one point, the prosecutors offered to let you off with time served if you confessed to the murder. And you said?

DH: I told them I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t live with myself pleading to something I didn’t do, and it was wrong, and I thought Ms. Sykes’ family deserved to know (the truth).

JL: Did anything good come out of being in prison all those years?

DH: The way I was able to survive nineteen years in prison was I always think of something positive. I met my wife, my faith grew stronger. There were a whole lot of positive things.

JL: The Darryl Hunt project is up and running. Remind us what it’s all about.

DH: We’re working with other innocence projects around the State, trying to get
innocent people out of prison. The other thing is we work with otherorganizations to help people coming out of prison to really adjust. There are a lot of organizations out there, but they really don’t understand what people go through in prison, and how to break that cycle.

(November 17, 2010) On this day our discussion focused mainly on job placement for former prisoners.

JL: What are the misperceptions most people (and employers) have about someone who has just been released from prison?

DH: Most people think that they are violent, and are going to continue to rob and steal, and that’s not the case. Most guys coming out of prison want to be able to take care of their family and take care of themselves.

(February 15, 2012) JL: Give us an update on your Project for Freedom and Justice.

DH: We try to help who we call “Homecomers”, people coming from prison, coming back home. And we try to help them find housing, clothing, a job, offer financial literacy, job readiness classes and counseling. One of the biggest things is counseling, where we help those guys understand the transition from prison to life.

JL: How many men have you served since you began the project?

DH: Since we started the project in 2005, we’ve served almost 5,000 people.

JL: Do you have a handle on how successful the project has been?

DH: From the count I had a couple of weeks ago, we only had 10 people we know of who actually went back to prison for different violations.

JL: The services that you provide have really made a difference for these men.

DH: Yes. It builds self esteem to be able to have an opportunity for people to believe in what they’re doing.

Most people will remember Darryl Hunt as the man who was wrongfully convicted of a brutal murder. But to thousands of former prisoners, Darryl will be remembered as the man who helped them overcome adversity and start a new life. In the end, the only person Darryl couldn’t help was himself. It is a tragic irony, but one filled with the hope that his work will continue.
 
 

If ever there was an example of a pot calling the kettle black, Mitt Romney gave it to us earlier this month when he launched into an all-out verbal assault on Donald Trump. Speaking before the Hinkley Institute in Salt lake City on March 3, the former Massachusetts governor and 2012 Republican presidential nominee attacked Trump for a host of character flaws, calling the New York billionaire a “phony and a fraud,” among other things.

So why the speech? And why now? The reason is that Romney and the GOP establishment have become increasingly concerned that a Trump nomination would fracture the Party, and hand the White House right back to the Democrats. I understand their motive, and perhaps it was inevitable that someone from the Republican Party would step forward to expose “The Donald”. Unfortunately, “Mitt the Hypocrite” wasn’t the right man for that job. Here are a few reasons why.

ENDORSEMENT

During his Salt Lake speech, Romney said, “If Donald Trump is our nominee, the prospect for a safe and prosperous future are greatly diminished.” Mitt then asked the audience a rhetorical question, “But isn’t Trump a huge business success? Doesn’t he know what he’s talking about? No he isn’t, and no he doesn’t. A business genius he isn’t.” The problem with those statements is that when running for President four years ago, Romney sought and received a ringing endorsement from Trump, and Mitt, in turn, showered high praise on Donald, saying, “Donald Trump has shown an extraordinary ability to understand how our economy works to create jobs for the American people.” Oops! Who’s the phony now?

SUCKERS

Another hypocritical statement Romney made is when he said Trump is “playing the American public for suckers.” Again, let’s go back and look at Romney’s own campaign for the Presidency. When appearing in public, Mitt pandered to all demographics, but when secretly recorded at a September, 2012 address to white big-money donors, Romney railed against disenfranchised people, using racist code language. Said Mitt, “There are 47% who are with him (Obama), who are dependent upon government, … who believe the government has a responsibility to care for them, who believe they are entitled to health care, to food, to housing…they will vote for the President no matter what.” And as if that bigoted statement wasn’t bad enough, Mitt the misogynist also played women voters for suckers. During one of his debates with President Obama, Romney tried to show how enlightened he was about women in the workplace. He said that as governor he sought females for his cabinet, so he sent his staff out to put together a “binder full of women.” The message was clear. Mitt didn’t actually know any qualified women. None. By the way, according to a story by Laura Bassett of the Huffington Post, 42% of Mitt’s initial gubernatorial appointments were women, but by his second year in office, the number of women in those high-level jobs fell to 27%. I guess he misplaced his binder.

BANKRUPTCIES

Earlier this month, Mitt took great pleasure in poking fun at some of Trump’s business ventures that had been forced to declare bankruptcy. He also said that Donald’s most recognizable personal quality is “greed.” In other words, Trump is just out to make money and doesn’t care who he steps on, or hurts along the way. Hey Mitt, look in a mirror, buddy. If ever there was a greedy job destroyer it is Mitt Romney. As head of Bain Capital, Romney constantly profited from the misfortune of others, making hundreds of millions of dollars by orchestrating leveraged buy-outs which resulted in plant closings and lay-offs. Kay Bee Toys is a prime example of Romney’s greed. Prior to being bought by Bain, Kay Bee was the nation’s second largest toy store valued at $305 million dollars. Romney and Bain put up just $18 million in cash, and borrowed the rest against Kay Bee’s assets. Romney the vulture capitalist then restructured Kay Bee and paid himself and his Bain buddies a staggering $85 million in dividends. Kay Bee soon went bankrupt and had to close 460 stores. Thousands of people lost their jobs, but Bain walked away with a 372% return on investment. And Mitt calls Trump greedy?

BULLYING

Romney characterized Trump as a “bully,” and he’s right. Donald has run off at the mouth and said some insensitive things about women, hispanics, and the disabled. No one is defending that kind of behavior. But as far as we know, Trump has never physically bullied anyone. The same cannot be said for Mitt the hypocrite. When he was eighteen years old, Mitt and a gang of his private school buddies terrorized a gay youth who had long hair. “He can’t look like that,” Mitt said to his homophobic friends. He then led the gang of five in a cruel assault on the student. They held the young man down against his will, and while he screamed for help, Romney cut off the man’s hair. To date, all of the attackers but Mitt have come forward to confess and apologize. Romney’s only comment? He apologized for “pranks he helped orchestrate that might have gone too far.”

I don’t support Donald Trump, nor do I condone his malicious bluster. But if you want to expose a political figure with character flaws, look no further than the racist, homophobic, misogynist, bully Mitt Romney.
 
 

State legislators, advocacy groups, and the courts are still arguing over Congressional boundaries, but there is little dispute over how to improve quality of life within those boundaries. On March 15, we have an opportunity to vote for the two-billion-dollar “Connect NC” bond, which, if passed, will make our college graduates better prepared to compete and succeed in the 21st century. It will also help to strengthen our state’s overall economy. The Triad in particular will benefit greatly from the bond, which is expected to funnel some 370 million dollars worth of projects into our area.

The architect of “Connect NC” is Governor Pat McCrory, and it is a testament to his leadership that the bond package has received broad support among officials in both political parties. Earlier this month, a number of state and local leaders appeared on Triad Today to talk about why the “Connect NC” bond is crucial to our future. Among those included in the discussion were Governor McCrory, former Lt. Governor Walter Dalton (now President of Isothermal Community College), UNCG Chancellor Franklin Gilliam, Cornelius Graves, Director of External Relations for Winston-Salem State University, Wendy Poteat, Director of Government Affairs for the Winston- Salem Chamber of Commerce, and former Associate State Supreme Court Justice Robert Orr.

Longworth: Why a two-billion-dollar bond, and why now?

McCrory: We haven’t had a bond referendum since the year 2000, and we’ve grown by two million people since that time. We have infrastructure at our universities and community colleges that is totally inadequate. We’re teaching in 20th century science labs which are supposed to train engineers and nurses in the 21st century.

Longworth: Why the name “Connect NC”

Poteat: This bond will connect North Carolina to the 21st century. The investment is important because it keeps the state competitive when you talk about business growth and job creation, and it has a direct impact on quality of life for all citizens of North Carolina.

Longworth: Describe how the bond money will be used?

Orr: Almost half of the two billion dollars will go for capital construction on university campuses, primarily in the science, technology, and health-related fields. About $400 million will go to community college projects, over $75 million will go to help improve National Guard facilities, and there’s $75 million for state parks.

Longworth: How will “Connect NC” impact higher education in particular?

Gilliam: It’s a pretty simple theme. It’s about people and prosperity. It’s about investing in people who we’ll train in careers for tomorrow, especially in the STEM fields. And it’s about being able to build the capacity of that workforce through our universities and community colleges, which will build our economy. So it’s not just about buildings, it’s about people and prosperity.

Longworth: How will the bond impact UNCG specifically?

Gilliam: We’ll receive $105 million for the construction of a new Nursing, Biology and Chemistry building. Right now we don’t have the capacity to handle all of the qualified nursing applicants, so we’re turning away 100 or so nursing students every year because we have no space for them. Secondly we have a bottleneck in the Biology and Chemistry labs because they’re antiquated. So this is retarding our development of fine young people who go into the workforce.

Longworth: A vote FOR the bond means $400 million will go to help community colleges statewide. How will “Connect NC” help Isothermal Community College?

Dalton: It’s going to help us upgrade our facilities. We have beautiful buildings, but most of them are 50 years old and have roofing and HVAC needs. We also need flex space, incubation space where a business can come in, train our students for six months, get them on their feet, then launch them into the economy.

Longworth: How will Winston-Salem State University benefit from the bond?

Graves: We’re looking at about $50 million which will fund a new Sciences building. It will have over 100,000 square feet of learning and research space that will cut across the academic spectrum, so we’re looking at Physics, Chemistry, Biology, and Health Sciences. Currently our bio medical research facilities are housed off campus. Having them in this new facility will allow for greater engagement across the sciences, greater research, and all those things that allow us to be more competitive in North Carolina and the nation.

Longworth: Why is bond money being used for our National Guard?

McCrory: When I became Governor I discovered that most of our armories were built in the 1940’s, ‘50’s, and ‘60’s, and they are in horrendous shape. They’re just not adequate for training members of our military, so this bond will let us spend over $78 million on new facilities for the National Guard.

Longworth: Money is also being allocated for new water and sewer lines. Why?

McCrory: Some of our small towns have no water and sewer lines. They’re using septic tanks, which is not good for the environment, plus it’s almost impossible to recruit new industry to those high unemployment areas that have no water and sewer lines. So this is to help those areas get the basic necessities.

Longworth: Will passage of “Connect NC” put us in debt and increase our taxes?

Poteat: It won’t put us in debt. The State of North Carolina has a AAA bond credit rating. In fact we’re one of only ten states that have that bond rating. We’ve also paid down our debt pretty fast, so adding this two-billion-dollar investment won’t increase our debt levels. Also the non-partisan Debt and Affordability Committee says we will not see a tax increase as a result of the “Connect NC” bond.

Longworth: You are a Democrat and even ran against Governor McCrory in the last election, yet you are supporting him on this bond referendum.

Dalton: This is not a partisan issue at all, it’s about having a stronger state and building our future economy. I’m happy the Governor came forward with this initiative, and I’m glad the legislature passed it. Future success of our people should not be a partisan issue, and that’s what this is about.

Longworth: “Connect NC” is going to have a direct impact on 76 counties, but why should I vote for it if I’m living in one of those other 24 counties?

McCrory: I look at regions, and every region of the state is benefitting from the bond. Every region benefits when we’re able to train new scientists, new engineers, new mechanics, new nurses. We’re not building new stadiums, we’re not building swimming pools or student centers. We’re building facilities that address our skills gap, so it’s strategic based upon trying to fill the talent needs of the next generation. Every region of the state is going to benefit from the “Connect NC” bond.
 
 

Let’s begin with a riddle. What’s the difference between the Communist Party and the NCAA?

Answer: One is a dictatorial governing body that punishes innocent people, and the other is the Communist Party.

Don’t get me wrong. The National Collegiate Athletic Association began with lofty ideals and brought much needed reforms to college sports. Credit for that belongs to President Teddy Roosevelt who was concerned by the number of injuries and deaths resulting from college football games. He convened a commission to come up with solutions, and in 1906 what is now the NCAA was formed, mainly to regulate safety standards. But by mid century and the advent of television, the NCAA began to flex its muscles and exercise tighter controls over member institutions. Since then, the Association has become overly intrusive, and arbitrarily punitive in its treatment of athletes, coaches, and schools, so much so as to ruin careers and stymie entire athletic programs. Even worse, most of the sanctions levied by the NCAA have failed to punish those who might be directly guilty of an infraction, and instead punish innocent student athletes and the teams for who they were recruited to play.

Last month, University of Louisville President James Ramsey unilaterally removed his men’s basketball team from any post-season consideration. The reason? According to ESPN’s “Outside the Lines”, five former Louisville players and recruits admitted that they had attended dorm parties in which female strippers danced completely nude. The limber ladies, it seems, were paid by the team’s former graduate assistant coach Andre McGee. Louisville head coach Rick Pitino maintains he knew nothing about the parties, nor was he consulted by Ramsey prior to the announcement of a postseason ban. Strangely enough, Pitino has yet to be interviewed by the NCAA, an organization that routinely holds coaches accountable for anything and everything that goes on with or around their program. Nevertheless, ESPN’s Jay Bilas told Mike and Mike that Ramsey had no choice but to hit his round ball squad with a pre-emptive strike because had he not done so, the NCAA would have imposed a much harsher punishment.

Pitino says the NCAA system is broken because it punishes the wrong people. He’s right. In most cases NCAA sanctions have mostly affected players who had nothing to do with the offending infraction. In the early 1990’s, for example, Chris Webber and several members of Michigan’s Fab Five accepted $600,000 from a booster involved in illegal gambling operations. The athletes involved should have been prosecuted, but instead, fearing severe sanctions by the NCAA, Michigan’s President ordered a self-imposed 2 year probation on the entire program. The probation only served to deny incoming players the chance to compete in a national tournament. In 1972, the NCAA placed North Carolina State University’s basketball program on a one year probation. The reason? When David Thompson was being recruited by the Wolfpack, he had played in a pick-up game with an assistant coach, and was allowed to stay in a campus dorm while attending a 1971 basketball camp. Thompson had no idea he was putting his future team in jeopardy.

Over the years, the list of NCAA infractions and sanctions has also involved such power house football programs as Oklahoma (several players found guilty of rape), Minnesota (the coach paid a school counselor to do homework for his players), and Miami (players paid for touchdowns and violent hits). And while the offenses range from benign to criminal, the fact remains that mainly innocent student athletes end up paying for the sins of others.

Increasingly, member institutions and their athletes are beginning to challenge the NCAA’s authority, from football players trying to unionize, to power conferences threatening to form their own national association. If the latter movement builds momentum, the NCAA might have to come down off its high horse rather than risk losing its billion dollar empire. In the meantime, I feel badly for Louisville basketball players, past and present. The former squad just wanted to look at naked ladies, and the current squad just wanted to look at a national championship trophy. Let this be a lesson to young men who want to play college ball—If you watch a girl take off her clothes, someone’s going to get screwed.
 
 

Elaine Riddick, now age 62, told me in an exclusive interview that she had been raped twice in her life. The first rape occurred when she was 13 at the hands of a man who threatened to kill her if she told. The second rape, she said, was performed by the State of North Carolina, which sterilized her because the pregnancy which resulted from her attack, labeled Elaine a promiscuous drain on society. When I asked which rape was worse, she said, “The one by the State.”

As it turns out, Elaine was only one of nearly 8,000 young girls who were systematically sterilized against their will under the auspices of the State Eugenics Board during a shameful era of racial cleansing that took place over a period of five decades. Respected physicians, elected officials, and captains of industry, sat on state and local boards that approved and funded the forced sterilizations that were overseen and implemented by local social service agencies.

In 2002, a series of investigative reports by the Winston-Salem Journal brought to light these racist-motivated procedures, and the lives they destroyed. Activists like former Rep. Larry Womble, began a crusade to have the State compensate surviving victims of forced sterilization, but he was met with arguments and obstacles from lawmakers who wanted the Eugenics saga to stay buried in the past. In order to placate fellow Democrat Womble, then-Governor Mike Easley issued an email apology to the newspaper. But the apology was as hollow as it was impersonal because no action was taken to allocate reparation funds. Easley’s successor, Governor Bev Perdue eventually established an Office for Justice of Sterilization Victims to serve as a clearinghouse for surviving victims to come forward and be identified. The OJSV estimated that some 1,800 sterilization victims were still alive, but less than half of them, about 780, actually registered with the Office.

It had now been nearly 10 years since the Easley apology, and still no reparations in sight. At one point Womble told me he thought some of his fellow legislators were dragging their feet, just hoping for sterilization victims to die off, so that the State wouldn’t have to pay so many survivors. Elaine was beginning to feel like she had been raped for a third time. Finally in 2013, state lawmakers voted to allocate $10 million dollars in reparations to be divided among all of the surviving victims whose sterilization had been authenticated by the State Industrial Commission. By 2014, approximately 220 claims had been approved, and checks began to be processed and mailed to surviving victims. I spoke with Elaine last week, and as of January, she had received compensation totaling $35,000, with another $15,000 promised. Seems like a paltry and insulting sum of money to pay someone for having taken away their ability to reproduce, yet, in some small way, the state payouts represented closure for hundreds of women who had been sterilized against their will. Not so for hundreds more.

Last week the North Carolina Court of Appeals ruled that anyone who was sterilized by certain county social services agencies was not eligible for compensation because there is no proof that some of those local agencies were working under direct orders from the State Eugenics Board. That means nearly 600 surviving victims who filed claims with the State will receive no reparations. According to the Associated Press, the Appeals Court cited the 2013 state law that requires claimants to show they were “sterilized under state authority.” With all due respect to the Appeals Court, those justices are a bit too blind when it comes to blind justice. Any idiot knows that a local social worker is not going to wake up one morning, go to work, and start sterilizing girls against their will without knowing that their actions were in accordance with and supported by the State Eugenics Board, and by the influential leaders in their own community who helped to fund that Board, and advance the mission of racial cleansing. This insulting, knit-picking decision by the Appeals Court constitutes yet another violation of the women whose bodies had already been violated by agents of the State. Once again these women have become victims. The rape continues.
 
 

For anyone who thinks the Republican Party has the market cornered on exclusion, think again. True, it was the GOP who initiated Voter ID legislation and opposed gay marriage, but when it comes to excluding people from the political process, the Democratic Party wins the prize with their own brand of disenfranchisement.

Let’s begin with Iowa. Several months prior to that state’s caucus, Bernie Sanders was trailing Hillary Clinton by as much as 50 points. Then as Bernie’s message began to spread, he closed the gap in Iowa and pulled dead even with Hillary. After a neck and neck battle all evening, Democratic Party leaders in at least seven precincts had to flip a coin to determine selection of their county delegates, and party officials claim that Bernie won most of those flips. However, they also admitted that many precincts were not able to use the new Microsoft app, and might have conducted coin flips that went unreported. Meanwhile, according to The Guardian, State Democratic Party Chairman Andy McGuire arbitrarily removed one of Bernie’s delegates at the Grinnell College precinct, and awarded it to Clinton. McGuire, by the way, is a long time Clinton supporter who once sported a license plate that read, “HRC 2016”. His unilateral delegate switch didn’t alter the final state tally, but he didn’t know that at the time. It makes you wonder what other help he gave his pal Hillary that wasn’t reported. In the end, Clinton edged out Sanders by less than two-tenths of one percent. Of course we’ll never know exactly how many people voted for either candidate because state Democratic caucus rules prohibit making that information public. And they say Putin runs crooked elections.

The following week in New Hampshire, Bernie won 60 percent of the popular vote to Hillary’s 39 percent, yet Clinton ended up with the same number of delegates from the Granite State. How did that happen? Two words: super delegates. Super delegates are comprised of Democratic congressmen, senators and governors, as well as DNC committee members and other party officials. This elite corps of Dems are automatic delegates to the national convention, and are allowed to go rogue and endorse whichever candidate they choose, regardless of how the popular vote turns out in their state’s primary. There are nearly 800 Democratic super delegates across the nation, 394 of who have already endorsed Hillary. And so, even though Bernie should be leading in number of delegates based on the popular vote, instead, thanks to a rigged system, he now trails Clinton by 352 delegates! And, if Hillary continues to rack up Super Delegates who owe allegiance to her and her husband, she could arrive at the convention with as much as 20 percent of the number of delegates needed for nomination before her legitimate delegates are even counted.

If all of this sounds sleazy and exclusionary to you, rest assured it gets worse.

Last week in what can only be called a shocking move, the Democratic National Committee, led by Hillary’s friend, Chairwoman Debbie Wasserman-Shultz, lifted its ban on contributions by PACS and federal lobbyists. Guess who stands to gain from that sea change? Hillary Clinton, that’s who. Coincidentally, just days before the DNC’s ruling, Hillary spoke about how her new best friend Barack Obama had once accepted money from PACs and lobbyists, and it hadn’t compromised or influenced his Presidency. Translation? Hillary most certainly knew the DNC announcement was coming, so she was positioning herself to benefit from the rule change. I believe the DNC shocker was orchestrated by Clinton and Wasserman- Shultz because Bernie was becoming too serious a threat to Hillary’s dream. In fact, one recent poll shows Sanders pulling dead even with Clinton nationally.

It would be sad indeed if the DNC, a few hundred party bosses, and a handful of PACs and lobbyists get to supersede the will of the people, but I’m afraid that’s where we’re headed unless Bernie brings in a massive amount of new voters, and wins some major primaries next month. If so, his grass roots delegates could prove to be just the kryptonite needed to neutralize the Super Delegates, and drain the power from their fearless leader.
 
 

Johnny Bench’s hands have served him well. At age 6, he used them to pick cotton so that he could earn enough money to buy a pair of jeans.

As a catcher for the Cincinnati Reds, he used his hands to snag every baseball thrown to him, and throw out just about every runner who ever tried to steal on him. It’s no surprise that Johnny acquired the nickname “Hands”, a well-deserved moniker that was memorialized in a now famous photo in which he is holding seven baseballs in one hand at the same time. But since retiring from baseball in 1983, Bench’s hard-working, competitive hands have morphed into helping hands, especially when lending support to those in need.

On February 18, Bench will speak at a members-only dinner for the Guilford Merchants Association. Last week, in advance of his upcoming trip to Greensboro, I spoke with Johnny by phone about a wide variety of topics. We talked for over a half hour, and not once did he mention his 389 lifetime home runs, or being named to 14 All-Star teams, or his induction into the Hall of Fame, or his being named Best Catcher of all time. Instead the boy from Binger Oklahoma talked mainly about his passion for education, and how he and his Foundation help kids who want to go to college. He also spoke of how he and his son Bobby formed a company to help schools and businesses develop multi use apps. Along the way we also talked about diversity, politics, and his “Vowels of Success”.

JL: Tell me about the Johnny Bench Scholarship Fund, how it got started, and who it helps.

JB: I graduated high school at 17 and signed with the Reds. I had wanted to go to college because I thought a college education was important, but I didn’t know I would be drafted and my career turn out the way it did. So when I retired I wanted to give kids an opportunity to go to college, and that’s when we started the Scholarship Fund. We started out with $25,000 that went to help Cincinnati kids who wanted to go to Cincinnati colleges. From there I started hosting golf tournaments to raise money for the Scholarship Fund. I also won $250,000 on Who Wants to be a Millionaire, and that went directly into the Scholarship Fund too. Several years ago we expanded the program to include kids from my hometown of Binger who wanted to go to college. All of the kids must maintain a certain grade point average in order for their scholarship to be renewed. Today we average about 84 to 94 scholarship kids each year.

JL: Back when you played ball, it was more common for kids to be drafted straight out of high school. But despite your young age, guys like you, Al Kaline and others had a natural work ethic. Is that something that can be taught?

JB: It’s all about who raised you. Back in 1966 someone asked me what motivates me, and I said, “the fear of failure.” Not failing here, but it’s fear of failing all those people back home who read the paper every day. I also had great mentors to assist me and guide me in a lot of ways.

JL: Well not only did you not fail, you and your teammates on the Reds were highly successful, winning back to back World Championships in ‘75 and ‘76. You also had the most culturally diverse starting line-up in baseball. Did that give you an edge?

JB: I was sitting on a plane with Ted Marchibroda, who was coach of the Baltimore Colts at the time, and he said, “Why are you guys so successful?” And I said, “Because we have black leadership, white leadership, and latin leadership, and we don’t know what color we are.” For example, if the Latin players had a problem, they could go to Tony (Perez). Today you hear about clubs having a team leader. To me, leaders are people who are on time. Leaders are on the field when it’s time to be on the field. They apply themselves. They run their laps the same as anybody else. They don’t ask for special treatment. Those are leaders.

JL: Speaking of leadership, you and your son Bobby run one of the leading app companies. Tell me about it.

JB: Our company is N.E.A.D., which stands for “No Ego App Development.” We develop apps for cities, schools, and businesses that are accessible to anyone from their smart phone. Let’s take a school, for example. We can help them set up an app where they can use push notifications to report cyber bullying, or update parents if there’s a lock-down. They can also put in all the schedules of their events and update everybody on cancellations.

JL: Let’s talk about your book, Catch Every Ball: How to Handle Life’s Pitches. In it, you reveal your “Vowels of Success”, which are Adhere, Employability, Inner Conceit, Opportunity, and Use. What do you want people to take away from your book?

JB: I want them to have their own vowels. I want them to assess what their life is and develop their own vowels. So when I’m speaking to groups I ask them, “What is your A? What is your E? For example, Arnold Palmer’s “A” is Attitude. Bobby Knight’s is Assholes, as in “Keep the Assholes away. (laughs)”

JL: It’s an election year, so I have to ask why you never ran for office. I mean, you’re Johnny Bench, one of the most popular athletes of all time.

JB: When I retired, I worked for a bank, and the President of the Bank called me in and said, “John, I’d like to see you run for Congress.” And I said, “Can you hear those skeletons in my closet right now? (laughs) 

I mean, they’re knocking down the door! Besides that, I don’t know all the different facets of politics that you need to know.”

Bench might have rejected the idea of serving in Washington, but that hasn’t stopped him from serving people all over the nation. In addition to starting the Scholarship Fund, Johnny has also raised over $2 million dollars to help abused women and kids, he entertained the troops in Desert Storm, has been an advocate for Wounded Warriors, and he headlines the Children’s Charity Classic in Lexington to benefit USA Cares. Not surprisingly when he lands in Greensboro next week, he’ll take time out to help his good friend and GMA Chairman Tom Berry to promote a local charity.

Great catchers are always busy, they stay involved in every play, and never rest until the job is done. That’s why my “A” is dedicated to Johnny Bench and his helping hands. My “A” is Admiration.

For more information about Johnny Bench, visit www.johnnybench.com. To learn about NEAD, visit www.mycivicapps.com or call (513) 620-1880.
 
 

Last month, Republican presidential candidate Marco Rubio was delivering a speech in Iowa when a young atheist asked him why he spent so much time talking about religion. The atheist then suggested that Rubio seemed to be running for “Pastor in Chief”. Rather than respond by saying he would be the president of ALL people, Rubio instead launched into an aggressive defense of his Christian faith, and turned the atheist’s question into a rally cry for his campaign, and a central theme for his latest fundraising email scheme. In the email I received last week, Rubio said he needed to spread the word about “the role of faith in the public square.” He concludes by asking me to write a check to his campaign in the amount of $5,400—the maximum allowable individual contribution if combining a donation for both the primary and general elections.

I suppose this type of electronic tithing has replaced the more traditional passing of the plate. In any event, Rubio’s message is clear: Christians need to give him money now so he can spread the word of God, and drown out the heathen atheist voices which might derail his aspirations to be king, uh, I mean, president.

Clearly, Rubio knows how to pander to the electorate, but he’s not the only one. Every Republican candidate invokes God’s name at least once in every televised debate, and often thereafter whenever and wherever it suits their political purpose. Even Donald Trump, a mogul with a God complex, knows how important it is to woo Christian voters and others who worship a deity. That’s why he traveled to Liberty University recently in order to garner an endorsement from Liberty President Jerry Falwell Jr. The hypocritical Trump spoke to a large gathering of students where he demonstrated his total lack of familiarity with the Bible when he referred to Second Corinthians as “Two Corinthians”. Nevertheless, he still won Falwell’s blessing and endorsement. Go figure.

Let’s face it, politicians love to talk about God because that’s what voters expect. It’s no accident that Ted Cruz proclaimed, “I’m a Christian first, an American second, a conservative third, and a Republican fourth.” God help any candidate who forgets to invoke God’s name, or fails to chastise non-believers. That’s why Christian candidates like Rubio and Cruz have such little tolerance for atheists, and find it easy to incite a crowd by uttering the “A” word. Still, something about presidential candidates using atheists as a punching bag and God as a fundraiser, rings a bit hollow and hypocritical.

According to the 2010 Census, nearly half of all Americans say they are church members. However, a 2013 Gallup poll reports that only 37% of us attend church regularly. Author Mark Chaves says that figure is actually much lower- around 20%, and he attributes the discrepancy to what he calls the “Halo Effect”. The “Halo Effect” occurs when people give false data to a pollster so that they appear to be more religious than they really are.

So there you have it. We Christians expect our politicians to be Christian, say Christian things, and invoke God’s name at least once in every televised debate. Yet only about 20% of us even bother to show up for church services on a regular basis, and those of us who do, don’t seem to mind voting for candidates who vote against Christian-like legislation that would help the less fortunate among us. Translation? We want our politicians to talk the talk, but aren’t really concerned with whether they walk the walk. It’s a disconnect that is perhaps a product of our own hypocrisy when it comes to religion, and it’s a frightening disconnect at that. It also allows us to turn a blind eye to candidates who trample over the Constitution whenever invoking God’s name will get them elected. Senator Rubio says, “We are called in the Bible to adhere to our civil authorities, but that conflicts with our requirements to adhere to God’s rules, so when those two come into conflict, God’s rules always win.” I agree, and that’s why I’m not sending a donation to Rubio. God wouldn’t want me to do business with a moneychanger.
 
 

Several things anger me about American politics, especially during a presidential election cycle. They include: exclusionary rules and institutions; mudslinging; and uninformed voters. In order to become president, Senator Bernie Sanders may have to overcome all of the above.

There are many ways in which the two-party system can derail a legitimate candidate by disregarding (or, in a sense, excluding) the votes he’s collected. One of those ways is to hold state primaries in which people think their vote actually counts. In the Democratic party, primary votes are apportioned according to results, but that’s no guarantee that a candidate will benefit from his own vote totals. That’s because delegates to a party convention are morally, but not legally bound to vote for the winner of their state’s primary. Hillary Clinton has a lot of pull with state party leaders, so Bernie could actually win a majority of primaries and still lose the nomination.

Presidential politics has always been a rough-and-tumble sport, and certainly mudslinging and misleading ads are nothing new. In 1828, for example, John Quincy Adams attacked Andrew Jackson for marrying a divorced woman who, it turns out, was not legally divorced. Today, nearly 200 years later, Republicans have dogged Hillary Clinton about keeping top secret emails on her personal server. But Bernie Sanders came to her rescue, telling a debate crowd, “Enough about the damn e-mails!” Unfortunately, Hillary hasn’t returned the favor. Ever since Bernie started gaining in the polls, Ms. Clinton and her minions have started running attack ads, excoriating Bernie on everything from his healthcare plan, to his vote against making gun manufacturers liable for gun crimes. Disseminating misinformation about an opponent has become an accepted practice among political party hacks, and I truly hate it. Untruthful ads that are intended to incite and misinform viewers should be illegal, instead they are encouraged.

Exclusionary rules and institutions are dangerous, and mudslinging can cause untold damage to candidates, their families, and their campaigns. But perhaps the thing I despise most about presidential politics are uninformed and lazy voters. These are the folks who have never heard of fact-checking. For example, they believe Carly Fiorina when she claims to be a job creator, even though her favorite pastime at Hewlett Packard was laying off employees. Uninformed voters also believe that Hillary will crack down on Wall Street investment firms, even though she accepted $600,000 in speaking fees from Goldman Sachs. These are the same lazy voters who say, “I would vote for Bernie Sanders, but he can’t win.” Pardon me while I scream.

First of all, who says he can’t win? A month ago, Hillary had a 50 point lead on Bernie in the national polls, and today, that lead has been in cut in half. Moreover, his numbers keep rising every time he visits a new state. As of this week, Sanders is crushing Hillary in New Hampshire by 60% to 33%, and leading her in Iowa by 51% to 43%. If Bernie wins those two contests next month, his national poll numbers will skyrocket. Translation? Time is on Bernie’s side.

Speaking of growing support for Sanders, Hillary’s African American spokespersons have told the media that Bernie has no support in the minority community. But just last week, Dr. Cornell West told Bill Maher that black voters support “Brother Bernie” once they get to know him. Hillary has underestimated Bernie Sanders the same way she underestimated Barack Obama in 2008, and now she’s starting to panic.

But even if Bernie’s poll numbers weren’t rising, why would anyone not vote for him just because they think he won’t win? You should always vote your conscious, and, the more people who do that, the better chance Bernie has of actually winning the nomination.

Lazy, uniformed voters also make me mad because they don’t take time to learn about Bernie’s platform. How can anyone not be in favor of a plan that eliminates monthly healthcare premiums? Sanders rolled out his comprehensive healthcare reform proposal last week which pointed out that if an average family saved $10,000 per year in insurance premiums, they would pay about $500 in additional taxes. I’m no math whiz, but paying $500 sounds a lot better than paying $10,000. Hillary’s only response to that plan? Maintain the status quo.

I sincerely hope that uninformed voters will wise up, and if they don’t I hope they stay home on election day.

Clearly Bernie Sanders may have to overcome a number of obstacles in order to win the White House, but his supporters can take comfort from news out of Western Illinois University. The research department at that school has accurately predicted the winner of every presidential election since 1976, and they predict that Sanders will be our next Commander in Chief. But let’s not get ahead of ourselves. As Bernie might say, “Enough with the damn polls! Let’s talk about the issues!”
 
 

Last week President Obama issued an Executive Order which he hopes will curb gun violence in America. His Order consists of three elements: First it seeks to clarify who is required to have a federal license to sell firearms at gun shows; Second, it calls for the addition of 230 FBI agents to process background checks on gun purchasers; and Third, it allocates half a billion dollars for treatment of mental illness.

Obama announced his Executive Order at a press conference in which he invoked the memory of the twenty children who were murdered at Sandy Hook elementary school in 2012. While speaking of those deaths, the President shed tears of sorrow. The press seemed to buy into the waterworks. Even Donald Trump said Obama’s tears were real. Perhaps, but they were also staged, and it wasn’t the first time the President has done so. Following the Sandy Hook massacre I wrote a column entitled, “Obama’s Tears Too Little Too Late.” Just as he did last week, Obama shed tears at his December 2012 press conference, and did so on the same talking points. It is just one of five reasons why I believe his Executive Order is a hollow gesture.

REASON 1:

POLITICS AND HYPOCRISY

Last week’s press conference once again demonstrates that Obama’s tears are too little too late. Even if they were genuine and heartfelt tears, the question remains, Why the concern now? and Why not seven years ago? Obama apologists point out that the President would have never gotten tough gun laws through a Republican Congress. But for the first two years of his Presidency, Obama had a Democrat majority in both Chambers. In January of 2009, there were 256 Democrats and 178 Republicans in the House, while Democrats held a 55 to 41 edge in the Senate. Moreover, the President has had more than enough reasons to push for gun reforms. According to snopes.com, there have been 162 mass shootings on his watch (compared with just 20 during two terms under George Bush). We’ve experienced massacres at a Fort, a movie theatre, a college campus, a church, a clinic, and an elementary school. We even had a member of Congress shot in broad daylight. But each time an incident occurred, all we got from our Commander in Chief was condolences, rhetoric, and tears. In his January 28, 2015 State of the Union address, Obama said, “I’ve mourned with grieving families in Tucson and Newtown, Boston, Texas, and West Virginia.” But not once following a mass shooting did the President ever issue an Executive Order to deal with the problem. Why? Because he couldn’t afford to alienate voters, either during his own re-election cycle, or in off year elections. Now he is a lame duck, and it is finally politically safe for him to appear to do something about gun violence. The operative word here is “appear”.

REASON 2:

NO REDUCTION OF GUNS

Nothing in the President’s Executive Order does anything to reduce the number of firearms in this country, it only attempts to delay or deny gun purchases by a few bad apples. As of 2010, the population of the United States was about 309 million. Meanwhile, according to the Congressional Research Service, there are 310 million firearms in America. Translation? A shit load of guns are already in circulation. So even if no more guns were purchased, there’s still enough firepower available to fuel any number of murders.

REASON 3:

NO REDUCTION IN CRIME

Based on reason #2, one can make the assumption that the President’s Executive Order will do little or nothing to reduce gun violence. That’s not just my opinion, but it is the belief of law enforcement officials I have spoken with who know about and come up against what seems to be an endless supply of weapons in circulation. The President could argue that stepping up background checks at gun shows might deter anyone with criminal intent. But as I pointed out in previous columns, federal background checks are limited in scope, and don’t always take into consideration someone’s mental illness or proclivity for violence.

REASON 4:

NO AFFECT ON GUN SHOWS

Don Efred, owner of Archdale Arms and Archery told the Greensboro News & Record recently that a “high percentage of vendors at gun shows already are federally licensed dealers.” Other dealers say over 90% of exhibitors at gun shows are licensed. I have attended a number of such shows, and I’ve never walked by a display of guns that wasn’t manned by a federally licensed dealer. Obviously the President has never attended a gun show, or else he would realize that his Executive Order is aimed at solving a crisis that doesn’t exist.

REASON 5:

EXECUTIVE ORDER WILL BE OVERTURNED

In addition to reasons already stated, Obama’s Executive Order rings hollow because he knows Congress can and will dismantle some or all of the elements of that Order, either sooner or later. Specifically, Congress has the power to overturn an Executive Order in two ways. First they can simply pass legislation which is in conflict with the Order. Second, they can refuse to provide the funding necessary to carry out policy measures contained in the Order. Either way, the President’s Executive Order as written will be short lived.

If Mr. Obama is determined to circumvent Congress, he should have included elements in his Executive Order that were substantive, rather than superficial. He should have reinstated the 1994 ban on assault weapons, and required a 90-day waiting period for the purchase of any firearm (including shotguns). He should also have mandated that any potential firearm purchaser obtain a note from a licensed physician saying that the buyer is mentally fit. Rather than only funding mental health treatment, he should have also focused on prevention. For example, he could have required that all 8th and 11th grade students be screened for signs of behavioral health problems. The 8th grade screening would provide a baseline report for health professionals to review prior to the 11th grade screening, and then treatment would be available as indicated. In addition, all middle school parents should be required to attend a seminar on how to recognize seriously dysfunctional and potentially violent behavior in a child. Finally, The President should have allocated funding that would place one School Resource Officer in every school. In the end, even these proposals would probably meet with Congressional opposition, but at least they are not hollow gestures.

We’ve shed enough gun-related tears over the past two decades. Now it’s time to shed ineffective policies that accomplish nothing but photo opportunities for politicians. No doubt the GOP and the NRA deserve some of the blame for the unchecked massacres that have occurred, but Mr. Obama has failed to use his bully pulpit for anything but spewing bull.
 
 

Each week I use the last few moments of my Triad Today television show to comment on weird and wacky stories in the news. Here are some of the weirdest and wackiest from the last half of 2015.

TASTING POSITIVE

A father and son crime team from Oregon was recently arrested for stealing $70,000 worth of pregnancy strips which they apparently thought were teeth whitening strips. Asked what his first brush with the law was like, the son said the whole thing had left a bad taste in his mouth.

DUMB GUN

Russian President Vladimir Putin says he’s ready to test out a new weapon that can diminish your mental capacity. “Too late,” said the ten Republican Presidential candidates.

APE IS ENOUGH

Primate scholars are all aglow because last week a baboon in the London Zoo learned how to floss his own teeth. Encouraged by his progress, zoo officials now say the baboon is ready to take part in the next Republican debate.

LENGTH MATTERS

The Journal of Consumer Psychology reports that a man whose index finger is shorter than his ring finger, is more likely to spend money on his girlfriend. Conversely, men who spend NO money, GET the finger from their girlfriend.

POPPINS PERP

An English nanny was arrested last week for stealing $280,000 from the family she was employed by. The nanny was picked up after spending part of the loot at a Disney resort. Authorities say they were tipped off about the fugitive nanny by a letter they received from Jane and Michael Banks.

BIGFOOT SIGHTING

A man from Boone claims that he and his dog saw Bigfoot while vacationing in Henderson County. Police didn’t doubt the Bigfoot story so much as wondering why anyone would vacation in Henderson County.

A PENNEY’S SAVED

A female employee at a J.C. Penney store was recently sent home by her boss because he said the shorts she was wearing were far too revealing, and not appropriate for work. The woman was naturally confused because she purchased the shorts at J.C. Penney, in the “career” section! Let that be a lesson to you. Never buy work clothes where you work.

CHECK POINT CHICKIE

A Texas State Trooper has been arrested for prostitution because he offered to pay a woman for sex after having stopped her for speeding. This gives a whole new meaning to the term, “Police Cruiser.”

SMART FOOD

The University of Vienna in Austria has released a new study that says IQs are on the rise in the United States. Asked if he was pleased with the Vienna report on intelligence, former President George Bush said, “Yeah boy, and I love their tiny sausages too.”

THUNDERBALLS

White pop singing legend Tom Jones says he is undergoing a DNA test because he wants to see if he is really Black. Asked if this is a rare procedure, one doctor said, “It’s not unusual.”

SIGNAL BOOSTING

A woman in Costa Rica recently stole a plasma TV from a store by putting the TV between her legs and hiding it under her dress. The woman was arrested outside the store, but authorities wondered two things: How was she able to put a TV between her legs? and, How does she change the channels?

WATER, WATER EVERYWHERE

According to the Centers for Disease Control, when you get red eyes after swimming in a public pool, it’s not from the chlorine. It’s from urine discharged by other people. Which begs the question: If pee causes red eyes, what causes brown eyes?

GETTING CARDED

For his 106th birthday, a Grand Rapids man received 106 birthday cards. Said the man, “It beats the birthday when I turned 101. Those Dalmatians are eating me out of house and home.”