Triad Today

While moderating a star-studded event in Hollywood back in 2009, I introduced Suzanne Somers by saying, “She is the author of a book titled Touch Me, about the effect of the Thigh Master on global warming.” Suzanne laughed loudly. In fact, the superstar actress turned superstar entrepreneur loved to laugh, and she laughed a lot. That was nine years after being diagnosed with breast cancer and three decades after she was fired from a hit TV show just because she asked for the same salary as her male co-star.

But Suzanne was not one to let any kind of adversity beat her. After leaving Three’s Company and being virtually blackballed by casting agents, she re-invented herself and used her singing skills to develop a one-woman nightclub act. After headlining in Vegas in the early 1980s, Suzanne was voted as that city’s Female Entertainer of the Year, and suddenly casting agents came calling again. She was hired for the title role in She’s the Sheriff, then in 1991 Suzanne produced and starred in an autobiographical TV movie, Keeping Secrets which dramatized everything from her childhood dyslexia and abusive behavior by an alcoholic father, to her journey to find and marry the love of her life, Alan Hamel. That was followed by her long-running comedy series, Step by Step, and an even longer-running career as a successful businesswoman who made hundreds of millions of dollars from putting her name on over 500 products, including the popular Thigh Master. Along the way, she wrote over two dozen books and became an advocate for women’s health. Suzanne’s cancer returned with a vengeance in July of this year, and it finally beat her one day shy of her 77th birthday. Suzanne Somers died on October 15. She is survived by Alan, their three children, and six grandchildren.

I first met Suzanne when she agreed to participate in an event that I was producing for the Television Academy which saluted famous TV Dads. I had asked her to come on stage and pay tribute to her Step by Step co-star Patrick Duffy, and we stayed in touch regularly after that. Sometimes our communications were brief and sometimes they evolved into her giving me advice about my kidney stones or recalling the infamous Three’s Company saga. What follows are excerpts from some of our emails over the years.

 

June 24, 2009

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JL: Thanks so much for participating in the TV Dads salute last Thursday. The crowd really loved your comments.

SS: Thanks for the nice letter. That doesn’t usually happen. Both Alan and I thought you handled yourself well and were very good on your feet. You kept it lively and funny. I was happy to be there.

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August 14, 2009

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JL: I didn’t realize what a great cook you are. Pam and I are flying back to L.A. for the EMMYs next month. Can you provide the in-flight food for Delta?

SS: Yes, and the food will be organic!

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February 5, 2012 and June 19, 2014

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JL: I just watched your recent reunion with Joyce [DeWitt, her co-star on Three’s Company] on your internet show, Suzanne Somers Breaking Through. I hadn’t realized that the two of you had once wanted to do a tribute to John Ritter at the EMMYs, but your request was denied.

SS: It was the first time that Joyce and I had spoken after being estranged for decades. I was impressed by her willingness to appear, and it was an emotional reunion.

JL: Go back and tell me about the estrangement and why the EMMY idea didn’t fly.

SS: Before John died, I had reconciled with him in a telephone call. He had called me to ask if I would do a guest shot on his show, Eight Simple Rules… For Dating My Teenage Daughter. It was supposed to be a dream sequence where Joyce and I would be in his dream. I was so touched that he would reach out and call me after so many years, and it was uncomfortable for me to tell him that I didn’t want to do it. Because of my immaturity at the time, I didn’t have the wisdom to see it for the opportunity that it was. Instead, childishly I did not want to be on screen with Joyce. At that point, she had said so many awful things about me in print, on TV and radio that I just didn’t like her. I take responsibility for my small-mindedness. Anyway, the conversation with John was tearful, emotional, and heartwarming, so instead we decided rather than do his show, that we would find a project to do together. When he died a month later, I was deeply sorry and felt it was time to bury the hatchet. So, I asked my PR agent to call Steve Binder who was producing the EMMYs that year. We suggested that during the show a large black and white photo of John would drop down, and then Joyce and I (dressed in beautiful black gowns) would come from opposite sides of the stage and have sort of a Three’s Company reunion as the eulogy. Our idea was rejected. It would have been a TV moment to remember. By the way, I had wanted to go to his funeral, but John’s family barred me from coming. Well, now you’ve got me going about all the hard feelings from the Three’s Company debacle.

JL: That’s OK.

SS: The whole thing was a tragedy all the way around. After five years of being on the show, I asked for a salary increase and 10% of the profits. The network decided to play hardball and fire me so that no other female would have the audacity to ask for parity with the men. Had Joyce and John backed me up, we would have all participated, but they turned against me publicly and I was ostracized and called “greedy” by the press. Before I left, security cordoned off the set so that I couldn’t interact with anyone. I was unable to work on TV for years due to the negative publicity. It was a needless, cruel scenario that created a bitterness that I had to work to overcome. But I now feel at peace with the entire thing.

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January 29, 2013

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JL: I just read where you said that you intend to live to be 110. I’m sure you will, and by then you’ll finally look like you’re 45.

SS: Hahahhaa..now I’ve really set myself up!

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October 16, 2013

(Suzanne had just bragged to the press about her active sex life with Alan)

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JL: I hesitated to send this email for fear that it would interrupt something you and Alan might be doing.

SS: Hahahahaha..I still know how to get attention! I love that you always remember my birthday.

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June 30, 2014

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JL: Tell Alan I’m celebrating his birthday by passing kidney stones.

SS: Sorry for the stones. Drink a lake full of water.

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August 24, 2014

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JL: Dear Goddess, I just saw your bikini photo in the Enquirer. You can’t possibly be 68.

SS: Dear darling Jim you made my day! Thanks.

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October 17, 2016

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JL: Hey I think I typed in your email address incorrectly and it got spammed out.

SS: You will never be spam to me.

JL: That may be the most romantically hi-tech thing a woman has ever said to me.

SS: Hahaha. I’m of the millennium.

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October 16, 2019

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JL: Happy birthday!

SS: Thanks, Jim. It wouldn’t be my birthday without hearing from you. You are always the first.

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August 1, 2023

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JL: Hey Good Lookin’. I just heard that you’re having to deal with the “C” word again. I’m thinking good thoughts and sending prayers your way.

SS: Thanks, Jim. The wishes I’m getting from so many people make me feel so good. I must have done something right. Looking forward to seeing you in the future.

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That was the last time we corresponded. I will miss our regular exchanges, and I will think of her often. Suzanne and I spoke of many things over the years, but perhaps what she said to me in a 2015 missive best sums up her essence: “Jim, I’m loving life.”

And what a life it was. 

Rest in peace, my friend.

 
 

Back when the Mafia pretty much ran Las Vegas, casino patrons, and concert-goers were expected to “dress up.” Translation? Men wore pressed shirts, slacks, a blazer, and usually a tie. Women wore dresses or skirts, and generally walked in high heels. My first trip to Vegas was in 1980 for a meeting of Jerry Lewis telethon producers and hosts. At that time “The Strip” looked pretty much like it had 20 years earlier, and there was still a strict dress code for admittance to casinos and shows. When I returned 30 years later, Las Vegas Boulevard had been transformed into something akin to an amusement park, and the old-time hotel dress codes had disappeared. My wife Pam and I took in a Tom Jones show at the MGM Grand, and much to my surprise, we were the only couple who bothered to “dress up.” Everyone else was in jeans, shorts, tank tops, and flip-flops.

I was recently reminded of this devolving decorum when Pennsylvania Senator John Fetterman was allowed to enter the Senate chamber wearing shorts, a sweatshirt, and tennis shoes. Fetterman as you recall had once been hospitalized for depression, so Chuck Schumer, not wanting to appear politically incorrect, instructed the sergeant at arms to allow Big John admittance to the chamber. But Fetterman isn’t the only violator of Congressional norms. Kyrsten Sinema and Lauren Boebert often come to work showing more cleavage than a Baywatch girl.

America clearly has a dress code problem, and it’s not just with politicians and casino patrons. Flight attendants continually squabble with customers over what is and is not appropriate flying attire, and how much skin should be showing. When I first started traveling by plane, passengers wore “church clothes.” That’s a far cry from today’s flyers who routinely wear shorts, halter tops, and flip-flops.

Speaking of “church clothes”, I’ve also recently seen people wearing shorts and tennis shoes to worship services. I guess that would be OK for attending a baseball game, but not in church. Come to think of it, not so many decades ago, men wore shirts and ties to baseball games, even in the dog days of summer.

And while I’m on the subject of a dress code for sports patrons, there’s absolutely none for coaches. Head football coaches at both the college and pro levels used to wear a blazer, tie, and slacks. Today anything goes, with coaches wearing warm-up suits, hoodies, shorts, and t-shirts. Several weeks ago, Colorado State University head coach Jay Norvell hit a breaking point. Referring to rival Colorado University coach Deon Sanders who hardly ever removes his hoodie and shades, Norvell said, “When I talk to grown-ups, I take my hat and sunglasses off. That’s what my mother taught me.”

Dress code controversies also arise in secondary schools, where students are often asked to change their shirt if it contains a political message or foul language. Meanwhile, hair length also falls under dress code regs, and that can sometimes create problems. Take for example the Black high school student who is suing the Houston school system for suspending him just because his dreadlocks were too long. The media has tried to make this a race issue, but it’s not. The school in question has a strict dress code for boys which stipulates that hair must not fall below the eyebrows and earlobes. The code applies to all boys, including White guys with long hair.

And then there’s the workplace. Ever since the pandemic, small and large businesses alike are struggling to find good workers, so employers are less likely now to enforce strict dress and grooming codes than ever before. Still, today’s job seekers should be mindful of some common sense rules for making a good first impression. Tattoos are popular these days, but if you’re applying for certain types of high-profile jobs, it’s best not to show up for an interview covered in visible tats and assorted body rings. It’s also advisable to inquire about your prospective employer’s rules for attire and hair before accepting a position with that company. That will prevent any misunderstandings later on if you decide to suddenly grow your hair long, wear tube tops, and have the phrase “take this job and shove it” tattooed on your forehead.

What it comes down to is this: most folks just don’t care about what they wear in public. Columnist Kathleen Parker recently wrote, “When I walk through airports or malls, I can’t help wondering what people are thinking when they leave the house.” Quoting her father, Parker added, “Americans are a bunch of slobs.”  

I know that some of my observations and those of pundits like Ms. Parker may seem antiquated, but I truly believe if we all make a little effort to look nice and conform to a few basic societal norms, then that might go a long way toward bridging some divides among us. Moreover, given the price of casual wear these days, it actually costs less to “dress up” than it does to look sloppy. Paraphrasing Parker’s comment on the Fetterman saga, “A tiny concession to decorum would demonstrate respect for and consideration of others.” It’s an idea that would wear well on all of us.

 
 

Back in the day of brokered political conventions, it was common for some states to place the name of a “favorite son” into nomination for president on the first ballot. This was done largely for one of two reasons. One was to give their state leverage in seeking concessions from the current front-runner, and the other was to simply recognize and honor an outstanding elected official for his service to the state. 

In 1964 America was still reeling from the assassination of John Kennedy, and there was no doubt that JFK’s vice president, Lyndon Johnson, who had been sworn in on a flight from Dallas just months earlier, would be the Democratic Party’s nominee. Even so, the North Carolina delegation nominated Governor Terry Sanford on the first ballot, mainly as a way of recognizing Terry for his anti-poverty and education programs, and for his stand on civil rights. But the ceremonial nod to Sanford had an interesting back story that was unknown to the public.

In her book, Kennedy and Johnson, JFK’s private secretary Evelyn Lincoln recounted a conversation she had with her boss just days before his assassination. Kennedy told her that he was thinking of naming Terry Sanford as his running mate in 1964, but that, “It will not be Lyndon.” Had JFK survived, then Sanford would have probably been on the ticket and perhaps would have become president in 1968. It was not to be. However, Sanford did make an official run for the White House in 1972, but his campaign fizzled after he lost the North Carolina primary to George Wallace. 

Truth is, it is rare for anyone hailing from North Carolina to become president. Only two, James Polk and Andrew Johnson, got to sit in the Oval Office, and Johnson was so inept (the first president to be impeached) that he jinxed it for other North Carolina presidential aspirants to follow. Just ask John Edwards whose campaign imploded when it was discovered that he had produced a child from an extra-marital affair. But if we are to believe a recent report from CNN, then the Tar Heel State might have a chance to break the jinx. That’s because when listing top Democrats who might be a viable candidate for president in 2024 should Joe Biden drop out, the name “ROY COOPER” was mentioned prominently. 

So how likely is it that Uncle Joe will decide not to seek a second term? A few months ago, the answer to that question was, “not likely.” But two things happened recently that could change the equation. First, the latest polls now consistently show Trump beating Biden in a 2024 re-match. Second, Washington Post columnist David Ignatius opined that Biden should not seek re-election and that Kamala Harris should probably not be the Democratic standard-bearer either. This was a monumental blow to Biden because Ignatius is one of the most respected journalists in the nation and is a White House favorite. History will tell, but Ignatius’ bombshell may prove to be the most significant news media influencer on presidential politics since Walter Cronkite reported that the war in Vietnam was lost, leading LBJ not to seek re-election in 1968. Reportedly Johnson told his aides, “If I’ve lost Cronkite, I’ve lost middle America.” 

OK, so if Biden drops out, what are Roy Cooper’s chances of being the Democratic nominee in 2024? It’s hard to say. True, Cooper has proven that he can win elections, but only by a razor-thin margin the first time around because he threw Pat McCrory under the bus for creating the “Bathroom Bill,” when in fact McCrory did no such thing. In fact, Pat tried to derail it. Cooper also gained both praise and criticism for his handling of the COVID-19 pandemic. Supporters say Cooper helped to save lives by ordering non-essential personnel to shelter at home, and later by imposing mask mandates and enforcing socially distant public gatherings. But the Governor acted unilaterally in extending his pandemic policies when he should have sought consensus from the council of state to do so. The lengthy shutdown caused thousands of small businesses to close forever, the effect of which we’re still feeling today. On the plus side, Cooper maintains a façade of the genial Southern gentleman who’s moderate enough to appeal to a national electorate, much as Jimmy Carter did in 1976. 

Of course, Joe Biden must first step down in order for Roy Cooper to step up. If that happens, Cooper would face a slew of Democratic contenders, several of whom already enjoy the kind of name recognition that Roy lacks. Still, America seems to love Southern governors, at least for a while. We proved that by electing Carter, Clinton, and George W. Bush. I just don’t know if I could get used to calling Roy Cooper, “Mr. President.” I might have to, though, providing that Biden drops out and that Roy doesn’t have a baby out of wedlock.

 
 

Turn on the news and you’ll hear plenty of political infighting, partisan bickering, name-calling, and vitriolic discourse coming from Washington. What you hardly ever hear or read about, however, are details about important legislation that can affect our daily lives, regardless of whether you are liberal or conservative. That’s why this weekend’s episode of Triad Today is giving viewers an opportunity to hear directly from elected officials and learn about new and proposed laws that they have introduced or supported on our behalf.

This Saturday and Sunday, 6th District Congresswoman Kathy Manning and United States Senator Ted Budd discuss the merits and status of nearly two dozen pieces of legislation, and how those laws can impact our collective quality of life. Here are some highlights from the upcoming broadcast.

 

Inflation Reduction Act

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Manning: This brought down the cost of healthcare premiums, capped out-of-pocket costs for prescription medications, and lowered the cost of insulin for seniors. It has also helped to bring down the cost of insulin for everybody.

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Middle-Class Borrower Protection Act

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Budd: What the Biden administration wants to do is charge middle-class borrowers with good credit a fee to offset those who have not been as responsible by protecting their credit score, and that’s bad policy. This bill protects those middle-class borrowers.

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Mental Health Wellness in Schools Act

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Manning: We have a mental health crisis in our students, so my bill would integrate mental health education and services into the wellness programs that are already taking place in our schools.

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Veterans Protection from Fraud Act

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Budd: Unfortunately, there are some bad actors who want to take advantage of veterans in their time of need, so this will enhance the punishment against those people. That means longer jail time and bigger fines if they target our veterans. We want to protect those who have protected us.

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The PACT Act

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Manning: This Act makes sure that veterans can get the healthcare they need for those people who have been exposed to toxins, and it streamlines the process for applying for those benefits.

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Small Business Loans

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Budd: We want small businesses to be able to use the SBA 7A loan money to re-invest in their company, to put in technology, and put in good systems that can help them compete with bigger companies and grow the local economy.

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The Affordable Connectivity Program

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Manning: We have more than 400,000 people in North Carolina who did not have access to the internet during COVID. This program has already helped 60,000 people in the 6th district with a $30-per-month credit to help afford internet service.

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This special Voter Education edition of Triad Today airs Saturday at 7:30 a.m. on abc45 and Sunday at 11 a.m. on MY48. It will also stream on WFMY+. The program was made possible in part by Truliant Federal Credit Union. For more information on current legislation, visit Manning.House.gov and Budd.Senate.gov.

 
 

Last November I reported on the severe shortage of veterinarians and vet technicians in our area and throughout the nation. I learned from a study by Mars Veterinary Health and other sources that there aren’t enough vets to cover the current demand for pet medical care. One reason is the rise in pet adoptions over the past three years. In fact, Lorie Westhoff of Petfinder.com told CNN that adoptions were up by 70% between March 2020 and March 2021 alone, mainly due to more people wanting companionship during COVID lockdowns. The other more serious reason is that fewer folks are becoming veterinarians while the vets we have are cutting back on their hours and dealing with record turnover among vet techs. Sadly, one-half of all vet techs tend to burn out and quit within their first five years on the job. The result of these disturbing statistics is that pet owners are experiencing excruciatingly long wait times for routine care, even if they have an appointment. Even worse, if your pet needs emergency surgery after hours or on weekends, there’s a good chance he’ll end up dying from not being able to receive timely care.

Lest you think I’m being dramatic, allow me to recount an experience that my wife and I had recently. It was on a Sunday morning and without reason or warning our dog Albert developed severe bloat and was clearly in distress. Unbeknownst to us then, his stomach had become twisted and his life expectancy down to just hours. We took him to Carolina Veterinary Specialists in Greensboro who most area vets refer to for 24-hour emergency care. Upon arrival, we were told that there was no one on staff who could perform surgery. We were then handed a typed list of other emergency vet hospitals to call that were located within a 50-mile radius of the Triad. I immediately started calling them one-by-one, and one-by-one they were either closed or had no surgeon available.

It was becoming clear that Albert was not long for this world when I noticed a phone number scribbled on the side margin of the list. The notation read, “Reidsville Veterinary Hospital.” I called their number and the receptionist said, “How soon can you be here?” I couldn’t believe my ears. I had located the one vet hospital between here and the hereafter with an honest-to-God surgeon on duty. Upon our arrival, Dr. Joseph Kinnarney took x-rays of Albert, and within minutes we were informed that surgery must be performed immediately in order to untwist Albert’s stomach. Long story short, Dr. Kinnarney saved Albert’s life, but our emotions were torn between relief and anger. Relief because Albert was alive and well, and because we had stumbled onto one of the most respected veterinary surgeons in the country. Anger because all of the other so-called 24/7 emergency care vet hospitals weren’t what they claimed to be.

By all rights, we need a state regulation that would strip any vet hospital of its license if it falsely advertises 24/7 care. Meanwhile, if someone’s pet dies after being turned away by a 24/7 clinic, we should be able to sue that facility for damages.

The problem is, those remedies would just add to the vet shortage that we already have. And it’s a shortage that’s going to get worse in the coming years. Mars Veterinary Health reports that based on the current demand for pet health care, 41,000 vets will need to enter practice over the next 10 years. The problem is that only about 2,600 graduates become veterinarians each year, which means that by the year 2030, we’ll have a shortage of 15,000 vets. Banfield Pet Hospital estimates that such a shortage will mean that 75 million pets will go without proper vet care in seven years.

The good news is that some states are taking progressive action to address this crisis. Arizona, for example, recently passed the Arizona Veterinary Loan Assistance Program which will reimburse student loans up to $100,000 to vets who graduate after January 2023 and agree to work in Arizona for four years, with two of those years spent working in a city, county, or nonprofit shelter. Other states like North Dakota now offer a variation of that program. And while such assistance can abate the vet shortages long term, we still have a crisis that demands some short-term and immediate remedies. Liz Hughston, president of the National Veterinary Professionals Union calls this crisis, “a slow-moving tsunami.” But New York vet Maureen Luschini told Atlantic.com that there’s nothing slow-moving about it. Said Luschini, “Emergency care cannot be guaranteed for your pets right now.”

As with any serious crisis there comes a time when local, state, and federal government agencies need to step up and lend a hand. This is one of those times. According to Forbes, 66% of U.S. households (87 million homes) have a pet, and our dogs and cats deserve access to veterinary care. For one thing, the North Carolina legislature should adopt the Arizona plan which will help us lessen vet shortages down the road. For now, though, our lawmakers need to allocate funds to ease the immediate crisis by helping emergency vet hospitals stay open and adequately staffed 24/7. In the meantime, if your four-legged friend needs emergency care, you can either rent a private jet and fly to Arizona, or you can call Reidsville Veterinary Hospital at 336-349-3194. We opted for the latter. Thank God for Dr. Kinnarney.

 
 

Once upon a time, there was a 6-year-old Louisiana Cajun who landed a job playing the son of a Cuban band leader and ended up running an international ballet company. Along the way, he was the sage of Mayberry, the most visible member of a Christian rock band, almost joined the Von Trapp family, and after struggling with substance abuse and depression, became a dedicated witness to God. Lucille Ball called him Keith. Ron Howard called him Johnny Paul. TV producers called him Richard, and millions of little girls just wanted to call him. But for the past 70 years, succeeding generations of fans around the world have called him “Little Ricky.”

Keith Thibodeaux was born December 1, 1950, in Lafayette, Louisiana where he displayed a proclivity for drumming while still in diapers. By age 3 he won a talent contest which landed him a job playing drums with the Horace Heidt Orchestra for $500 per week. Three years later he joined the cast of I Love Lucy, playing Ricky Ricardo, Jr., then stayed with the show until it wrapped in 1960. From 1962 to 1966 he played Opie’s pal Johnny Paul Jason on The Andy Griffith Show, then left Hollywood and started touring with David and the Giants, one of America’s first Christian rock bands. In 1976 he met and married Kathy Denton, an accomplished ballerina, and 10 years later they founded Ballet Magnificat, an acclaimed dance company based in Jackson, Mississippi which tours all over the world.

David and the Giants, which was formed in 1963 by David Huff, will perform next weekend as part of Mt. Airy’s annual Mayberry Days celebration. Keith joined the group in 1969 and played with them for eight years. These days he serves as executive director of Ballet Magnificat and joins David and the Giants for reunion tours.

I first met Keith in 1979 when he stopped by my morning television show in Richmond, Virginia and we’ve stayed in touch ever since. Over the years we’ve talked about his television roles, his music, the ballet company, and his faith in God.

 

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JL:: Is it fair to say that music has been the common thread to everything in your life?

KT:: Yeah, but another important thread was my faith in God. Even when I was very young, I had a sense of God. I asked my dad, “Why do you think God picked me to be Little Ricky on such a famous television show?” And Dad said, “Because God has a purpose for you, Keith.”

JL:: How many kids auditioned for the role of Little Ricky in I Love Lucy?

KT:: There were about 200.

JL:: With all due respect, God had a purpose for those other kids too, so what gave you the edge?

KT:: There were a couple of factors. I looked like Desi Arnaz and I looked like their child. I also played the drums, which was a gift that the other kids maybe didn’t possess.

JL:: What was it like playing Opie’s pal on The Andy Griffith Show?

KT:: It was a very easygoing show to be a part of. It was fun hanging out with Ron on the set. He was one of the nicest kids in Hollywood.

JL:: And he sort of looked up to you, didn’t he?

KT:: He did because I was about four years older, and he always asked the writers to write me a part so I could be on the show.

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But Keith was on the show even when he WASN’T on the show. That’s because Opie would frequently quote one of Johnny Paul’s philosophies to Andy.

 

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Opie:: Johnny Paul says tar is real good for your teeth.

Andy:: That’s just an old wives tale.

Opie:: Johnny Paul ain’t married.

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Mayberry Days runs from Monday, September 18 through Sunday, September 25. For more information visit MayberryDays.com. For more information on David and the Giants, visit DavidAndTheGiants.com. Their concert on Saturday, September 23 begins at 3 p.m. at the Andy Griffith Playhouse. You can buy tickets at Eventbrite.com. Keith’s book, Life After Lucy, is available from Amazon.com.

 
 

When someone has had a series of unpleasant experiences, they are said to have been “put through the wringer.” That describes my friend Meredith Baxter to a tee. As a child, she endured a bullying and sometimes creepy stepfather. Her beautiful celebrity mom was often distant. She was shipped off to a high school far from home where she attempted suicide. She was fired from her first job. She was physically abused by her husband. She struggled with alcoholism, was cheated by a business partner, and dealt with the stresses of coming out as gay. And, by the way, she fought breast cancer twice.

 

Today at the age of 76, Meredith is cancer-free and happily married to long-time partner Nancy Locke. She has a great relationship with her children and is just about the nicest person I’ve ever met. She’s also unpretentious. One day I answered the phone, and it was Meredith on the line. I said, “I love it when celebrities call me.” Without missing a beat Meredith replied, “Well I’ll hang up and maybe one will call you.” We both laughed.

I first met Meredith in 2008 when she participated in a TV Moms event that I moderated for the Television Academy. That night we honored her for playing the beautiful hippie mom to Michael J. Fox in Family Ties. Next month she will be the keynote speaker at the 28th Annual Gathering of Friends luncheon in Greensboro, hosted by Earlier.org, an organization that promotes early breast cancer testing. Meredith and I visited by phone recently and we talked about her personal experiences with the disease.

 

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JL:: In your book, Untied, you wrote about being diagnosed with breast cancer in 1999 at the age of 52, and you said that you knew very little about the disease, mainly just misconceptions.

MB:: Yeah, I thought you were not a good candidate for breast cancer unless your mother had it, and even then, it wasn’t guaranteed. I think my great-grandmother on my father’s side had it, but I didn’t know for sure.

JL:: When you told your ex-husband of the diagnosis, you said he was “All caught up in the drama of losing a breast… MINE.” Talk about the importance of family support when you have breast cancer.

MB:: I think anytime there’s a trauma going on in the family, you want to know that you have people you can count on to listen to you complain and to have an outlet, so they know that you’re hurting. I would say that my kids filled in that blank. I didn’t want to do anything at first and just couldn’t believe I had cancer. But my daughter Kate said, “Mom, you gotta do it,” and you just don’t argue with Kate, so I had surgery. I will also say that in the absence of support like the situation with my ex-husband, they’re taking up all of the air in the room with THEIR sense of tragedy and what THEY were losing. That’s hard to take.

JL:: I’ve heard some women say that they won’t get a mammogram because they don’t want to know. What do you say to them?

MB:: I understand that. My father died of Alzheimer’s and his father died of Alzheimer’s, but I refuse to take one of those ancestry tests because I am terrified of knowing. So, I can’t argue with someone who wants not to know if they have breast cancer. Of course, if you feel a lump, you’d be an idiot not to get a mammogram. There’s no downside to getting a mammogram, and the earlier you get diagnosed, the better your chance of surviving.

JL:: You’ve been through a lot of stressful events in your life, most of which you wrote about in your book, and which you talk about at speaking engagements. Do you ever have women come up to you and thank you for your honesty?

MB:: Yeah. After my book came out, I was on a plane and the flight attendant walked down the aisle, knelt down by my seat and whispered, “You told my story.” And that happens a lot, whether it was about my book, or whether it was about a movie I was in, like the one about bulimia. Young women who watched that film would come up to me and say, “Oh my God, how did you know my story? It made such a difference.” I found out later that the bulimia movie was mandatory viewing in a lot of high school health classes. So, I like being part of something that makes a difference for people.

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No doubt Meredith’s upcoming appearance in Greensboro will make a difference in many more lives.

The Gathering of Friends luncheon is on Wednesday, October 11 at the Sheraton Greensboro Four Seasons. Following the luncheon, Meredith is scheduled to sign copies of her book. For tickets, visit Earlier.org.

 
 

I have it on good authority that August is officially National Dog Month, but that is a meaningless designation for my wife and me. That’s because EVERY month is National Dog Month in our household. Our gang of three has the run of the house, gets the best of vet care, eats premium prescription food, sleeps in or around our bed, wakes me up every morning at 2 a.m. to go outside and pee, then wakes me up again at 5 a.m. to eat their morning meal (dinner is 12 hours later with healthy snacks in between). We cater to their every whim. In other words, we “service” our pets. In return, they provide us with “emotional support”. And that brings me to the difference between service and support when it comes to animals, and why Publix grocery stores are caught in the middle of a controversy over the two designations.

Last week, USA Today reported that Publix now displays large signs at the front of its stores that remind shoppers that only service animals are allowed inside, not personal pets, and not even emotional support animals. Reporter Giuseppe Sabella interviewed a number of shoppers just outside of a Florida Publix store. One man said, “A lot of dogs aren’t friendly. You don’t want mean dogs in there because they might get a scent on somebody and bite them.” Another man told USA Today, “I like that there’s no pets allowed. Pet shed gets into things and that’s stuff I don’t want around my food. And when you put them into the cart, you’ve got that dog wiping its butt inside the shopping cart.”

Butt wiping aside, Publix is just exercising its right under state law. In Florida, as in most states, a public establishment may ask patrons if their pet is a service animal required because of a disability. They may also ask what specific work or tasks the animal has been trained to perform. Of course, an increasing number of restaurants, stores, and hotels don’t ask any questions because they welcome pets of all kinds. Airlines are another matter. If you’ve ever uttered the phrase, “I’ll believe it when pigs fly,” you should know that, up until recently pigs DID fly. That was before the U.S. Department of Transportation ruled that support animals are no longer considered service animals. 

This might be a good point to “paws” for a moment and review the differences between a support animal and a service animal.

In short, a service animal is one that has been specially trained to perform specific tasks and give aid to a person with a disability. According to NEW LIFE K9s, canines have been servicing people since ancient times, such as in the Roman city of Herculaneum, and further back in China. In modern times, the first service dogs were trained to work with blind people. The world’s first guide dog school opened in Germany in 1916, and 11 years later that training model made its way to America. By the 1970s, service animals were increasingly trained to support people with disabilities other than blindness. Then in 1990 service dogs were legally recognized when the Americans with Disabilities Act was passed by Congress.   

Emotional Support Animals have been around a lot longer than formally trained service animals. According to Pawsitivity.com, dogs have been on earth for tens of thousands of years, and the first archaeological evidence of a support animal is a 10,000-year-old grave containing the remains of a woman clutching her puppy. Meanwhile, ServicePets.com tells us that emotional support dogs were first chronicled in ancient Greece when Aristotle wrote about a dog who, “helped to soothe his ailing master by providing companionship.” Today support animals are commonplace, providing a number of tangible benefits to the pet owner, ranging from lowering blood pressure for people living with chronic stress to having a calming effect on folks suffering from trauma.

Pets also played a big role in providing companionship during the COVID pandemic. In 2020, Mental Health Weekly reported on a survey which was conducted in Great Britain showing that 90% of people had at least one companion animal and described their pets as a “source of considerable support.”  

Clearly there are technical differences between a trained service animal and an emotional support animal. So, if you and your support companion want the same access to most stores and planes that is granted to legally recognized service animals, it would be advisable to carry a letter with you that is signed by a primary care doctor or qualified mental health professional, stating the reason as to why your pet must be with you at all times. However, be advised, most physicians will not prescribe snakes, pigs, rats or other unorthodox pets to accompany you, no matter how much support they may provide.

Speaking as a “service human” to three dogs I am content with my role so long as they provide emotional support to my wife and me. I just wish they’d learn to pee later than 2 a.m.

 
 

On August 28, 1955, 14-year-old Emmett Till was tortured, beaten, and lynched by white men who said the Black youth had made a pass at a white woman. That woman was the wife of one of the hangmen, and it was later revealed that she had lied about her encounter with young Emmett. On August 1st of this year, a national monument was erected to honor Till, and at that ceremony, there was hope among some of us stupidly naïve Americans that we might see an end to violent racism and discrimination in our lifetime. Sadly, not only are race relations still bad, they are in some ways, even worse than in 1955.

Just two days after Till was honored, 62-year-old Kimberly Jennings, a white woman, assaulted two Black children at an apartment complex swimming pool in Greensboro. The boy and his sister were both under 12 years old and, though they did not live at the complex, they had, according to their attorney, been invited by a friend to swim there. Regardless of the details, however, Jennings had no right to throw a drink on the little boy and hit him repeatedly in the face, which is what she did. She was arrested that day and a federal lawsuit has been filed on behalf of the two children. Later Jennings told WFMY News that she was sorry for her actions. Or perhaps she was just sorry that she got caught. There’s no way for us to know what’s in her heart. There’s also no way to know if Ms. Jennings would have hit a young white boy for not being a member of her pool, but I doubt it. I also doubt that she would have hit an 18-year-old Black youth instead of picking on an 11-year-old Black boy. No matter how you cut it, her bullying, cowardly actions smacked of racism, and we’ll see how they play out in a courtroom.

Speaking of bullies and cowards, on August 14, six Mississippi cops pleaded guilty to having tortured two Black men earlier this year, and to shooting one of them in the face. The six white officers operated under the nickname “Goon Squad” and were known to abuse their authority, like the day they illegally broke into the home of Kristi Walley, and proceeded to torture and assault Michael Jenkins and Eddie Parker who were in the house at the time. The officers were called to the scene based on a phone call from a white neighbor who said that two Black men were living with a white woman (Ms. Walley). The six white cops arrived, and for 90 minutes did unspeakable things to Jenkins and Parker including using a stun gun on them, staging a mock execution, and assaulting them with a sex toy. One officer also shot Jenkins in the mouth and the bullet lacerated his tongue and broke his jaw. As it turns out, Mr. Parker was at the house to care for his lifelong friend Ms. Walley who is paralyzed. The six racist cowards face up to 30 years in prison each.

So here we are in the month of August 2023, seven decades removed from Emmett Till’s murder, and there are still white racist cowards roaming free in our midst. Whether you’re a white adult assaulting a Black child, a white cop torturing young Black men, or white legislators disenfranchising Black voters, it all comes down to the same thing. Racists always have to have an advantage over their victims. There was never just one KKK member who lynched a Black man. There wasn’t just one white guy acting alone who murdered three Freedom Riders in 1964. And when a white guy massacred nine unarmed worshipers at a Black church in 2015, he was armed with a semi-automatic weapon. Cowards and racists always have an advantage of some kind, either in size, numbers, dogs, water hoses, or guns… or laws.

I could say something clever like, “I bet Emmett Till is spinning in his grave right now,” but the sad fact is, I don’t think Emmett would be at all surprised by how some white people behave today. This August began with a reminder of the past and hope for the future. It is ending with a reminder that the future is a long way off.

 
 

As Labor Day approaches, I thought this might be a good time to examine the origins of state and federal holidays, and why we observe them. Before you read any further, though, here’s a trivia question: “Which two federal holidays does North Carolina not officially recognize?” I’ll get to the answer in a moment. First, let’s review the 11 federal paid holidays.

New Year’s Day … although we don’t normally think of January 1 as a religious holiday, some Christians celebrate it as the Feast of the Circumcision of Jesus. Ouch! Not exactly my idea of the most relaxing way to spend a holiday. This year, federal workers got a paid day off on Monday, January 2nd because New Year’s Day fell on Sunday. 

Birthday of Martin Luther King, Jr. … not surprisingly this holiday was once a lightning rod of political controversy. Four days after Dr. King’s assassination in 1968, Rep. John Conyers floated the idea of a federal holiday in honor of the slain civil rights leader, but the bill faced opposition mainly from White legislators in the South. In 1983 Congress finally authorized MLK Day despite the efforts of NC Senator Jesse Helms who filibustered to smear King’s character. The holiday wasn’t observed until 1986, and though Dr. King’s birthday is January 15, the holiday is celebrated every third Monday in January.

Washington’s Birthday … though designated in the United States Code as “Washington’s Birthday” dating back to the 1880s, we now refer to this federal holiday as President’s Day so that it can honor Washington as well as Abe Lincoln, both of whom were born in the month of February. Today we celebrate these men on the third Monday of February. 

Memorial Day … was first designated as Decoration Day in 1868, and became a federal holiday in 1971. Today it is observed on the last Monday in May to honor men and women who died while serving in the military. 

Juneteenth National Independence Day … became a federal holiday in 2021 to commemorate the date (June 19, 1865) when Union soldiers arrived in Galveston, Texas to notify slaves there that they had been emancipated. My friend, former Virginia Governor Doug Wilder noted that Juneteenth is “an opportunity for people of all races, creeds, and colors to gain education and understanding of the issues many still strive to overcome.”

Independence Day … commemorates the date that the Continental Congress passed the Declaration of Independence to signify our break from British rule. Initially our ancestors celebrated by lighting bonfires and giving speeches. Today we shoot off deafening fireworks, which cause pets to shake with fear. Independence Day became a federal holiday in 1941. My dogs wish we had lost to the British.

Labor Day … first celebrated in 1882 at a labor assembly in New York City, it became a national holiday in 1894 to recognize the economic achievements and contributions of American workers. There is some dispute about who actually proposed the first Labor Day holiday. According to the US Labor Department, some records show that Peter McGuire came up with the idea. McGuire was general secretary of the Brotherhood of Carpenters and Joiners. Other research indicates that machinist Matthew McGuire (no relation) was the founder. Either way, Labor Day is celebrated on the first Monday in September.

Columbus Day …  only in America could we designate a national holiday to honor a racist who enslaved and tortured natives and people of color. As a kid, I didn’t know about the dark side of Christopher Columbus. I just thought he was a brave explorer about whom we were taught to say, “in fourteen hundred and ninety-two Columbus sailed the ocean blue.” Columbus Day became a federal holiday in 1937 and is celebrated on the second Monday in October. Several states have opted to celebrate “Indigenous Peoples Day” in lieu of Columbus Day for obvious reasons. 

Veterans Day … was established as a national holiday in 1938 to honor veterans of all wars. In 1975 President Gerald Ford designated November 11 as the official date of Veterans Day and if it falls on a weekend, then the government can move the holiday to the previous Friday or the following Monday.

Thanksgiving Day … most of us were taught that the first Thanksgiving was celebrated by the Pilgrims at Plymouth, Massachusetts in 1621. However, thanks to the tireless efforts of my late friend Mac Jamieson who owned Berkeley Plantation in Virginia, President Kennedy was compelled to officially recognize both states for the historic first. (for the record, Berkeley’s feast pre-dated Plymouth by over a year). Thanksgiving as a federal holiday always falls on the fourth Thursday of November. It became a national holiday in 1863.

Christmas Day …  is the only religious holiday recognized by the federal government. It was designated as a national holiday in 1870. That raises the question, “Why aren’t there federal holidays for other religions?” According to the North Carolina Department of Human Resources, state agencies “shall make efforts to accommodate an employee’s request to be away from work for certain religious holiday observances, however, nothing shall obligate the agency to make accommodations if, in accommodating the request, it would result in undue hardship on the agency or its employees.”

Speaking of North Carolina, that brings me to the trivia question that I posed earlier. In this state, agencies are not obligated to give a paid holiday for either Juneteenth or Columbus Day. Moreover, the North Carolina Human Resources Act establishes, “a holiday schedule that will not exceed 12 paid holidays per year, and will include Martin Luther King’s birthday, Veterans Day, and three days for Christmas.” To date, 28 states now make Juneteenth a paid holiday, and until the HRA is revised, most of our state agencies are allowing employees to take June 19 as a floating holiday.

There has been some debate over the years about the cost of paid holidays to businesses and industries that pay for work that they aren’t getting. In that regard, if ever there was a serious movement to reduce the number of paid holidays, I would be OK with getting rid of Columbus Day and Presidents Day, and I would combine Veterans Day and Memorial Day into one holiday that honors all Vets. For now, though, I’m OK with the holidays we have, just so long as we don’t add another one that celebrates circumcision.

 
 

I suppose I should have paid more attention in Bible class, but I grew up thinking that Abraham Lincoln originated the phrase, “A house divided against itself cannot stand.” In fact, honest Abe stole that line from the Book of Matthew (12:22-28) during a campaign speech at the 1858 Illinois State Republican Convention where he won the nomination for United States Senate. 

Lincoln, of course, was warning of the impending Civil War between North and South. Matthew, on the other hand, was recounting an incident in which Jesus (who was thought by the Pharisees to be a demon) cast out the devil from a demon-possessed man who was also blind and mute. By doing so, Jesus hoped to reunite the Pharisees with the Kingdom of God. Meaning no disrespect to Jesus, but Lincoln had the tougher row to hoe when, after becoming president, he had to heal an entire nation that was divided over the issue of slavery. Hundreds of thousands of young men lost their lives in that struggle, and Lincoln lost his because he was trying to bring us all back together.

These days, America is the most divided we’ve been since the Civil War, not by slavery, but by the lies of a maniacally messianic politician. Never in our history has a major political party been so completely hijacked by one man, so much so, that 70% of Republicans believe Joe Biden’s election was illegitimate, 30% say they would vote for Trump if he was convicted (20% were unsure how they’d vote), and 28% say they would vote for him even if he’s in prison. How scary is that?

Polarization in the era of Trump manifests itself in many ways, from voter suppression to insurrection. Thanks to Trump’s fiery and canard-laden rhetoric, people now scream at one another and call each other names instead of having a civil debate. MAGA nuts carry guns with them to go vote, and they are wont to open fire on any Black man who walks through their neighborhood. “Karens” are springing up all over and feel emboldened to call the police if a Black woman tries to use the swimming pool at her own apartment complex. Country singer Jason Aldean dares people who protest injustices to, “Try that in a Small Town.” And though Trump disciples claim to support the police, they have no problem with the attack on our nation’s Capitol in which officers were injured and killed.

Donald Trump once joked that he could shoot someone in the middle of New York City and get away with it. Sadly, that’s pretty much what he’s doing to our democracy — shooting holes in it that are big enough for him to walk through, in order to suit his needs or escape prosecution.

In a recent expose published by the Associated Press, correspondent Nicholas Riccardi noted that people are increasingly moving from one state to another not for a better job, but because of politics. Conservatives are moving to red states and liberals are moving to blue states in accordance with their views on polarizing issues like abortion and gay rights. So, instead of just segregating by race, we’re now also segregating by political party, and that just isn’t healthy for a nation that is in desperate need of healing.

I don’t care whether you quote Matthew or Abe Lincoln. Either way, we should heed their warnings that “a house divided against itself cannot stand.” Trump disciples who are in denial about his crimes may not be demonically possessed, but they are certainly blind to them. Sadly, I doubt any miracle will help them see.

 
 

Most of us watching television 50 years ago had three choices: ABC, CBS, and NBC. In some markets, there was an independent station on UHF, but there was no CW, FOX, or WB. There was no Paramount+, or Hulu or Netflix. There was no such thing as DirecTV, and less than ten million households even had cable. Back then the three networks offered us around 60 different prime-time shows each season. Things are different today. According to Nielsen’s State of Play report there are now 817,000 individual TV shows available from a plethora of providers, and the audience share of streaming video now outpaces that of broadcast television.

The good news is that thanks to various streaming services and nostalgia channels, we can still enjoy many of the shows that dotted the prime-time television landscape during the 1973-74 season. For what it’s worth, here’s a word or two about a few of those vintage programs:

All in the Family …this groundbreaking comedy from Norman Lear put non-malicious bigotry on full display and made Archie Bunker one of the most quotable men in America, not just for his prejudices, but for his ignorance. Said Archie, “It’s a proven fact that capital punishment is a detergent for crime.” The show ran for 12 seasons and was number one in its time slot for the first five.

M*A*S*H …like Hogan’s Heroes before it, M*A*S*H managed to find humor in war. Set amidst the Korean conflict, the show took a couple of seasons to catch on, then became a perennial top 10 favorite. In fact, the series finale was the most-watched episode in TV history to date. I once asked star Alan Alda why the show ended despite its huge following. Said Alda, “I’m proud of what we did, but I didn’t want to keep doing the same thing over and over again. I was pretty much the main reason for the series coming to an end because we were still at the top, but there were signs that we were running out of steam.”

Gunsmoke …By 1973 this western was on its last hooves. It would end two years later after 20 consecutive seasons (a record broken by Law & Order SVU). I once told Marshall Dillon’s sidekick Chester (played by Dennis Weaver) that when I was 4-years-old I faked a limp like his in order to get attention. Weaver thought I was weird.

Kojak …Who knew that a Greek, bald-headed, lollypop-sucking police detective would take television by storm? Telly Savalas’ catchphrase, “Who loves ya, baby?”, became part of our lexicon, and the answer to his question was “millions of people, that’s who.” Prior to “Kojak”, Savalas had portrayed mainly villains in film and on TV. When I reminded him of that fact during a 1977 interview, the actor (in character) said, “Hey baby I’m a good guy.” I then obnoxiously started naming all of his villainous roles, and he cut me off and turned surly, saying, “Oh OK, so you want to play it that way huh?” It was an awkward moment.

Barnaby Jones …like Kojak, this unique private eye series premiered on CBS during the ‘73-’74 season, but that’s the only thing it had in common with Savalas’ show. Coming off of meteoric success as Jed Clampett on The Beverly Hillbillies, Buddy Ebsen portrayed TV’s first elderly P.I. and he was ably assisted by his daughter-in-law, played by former Miss America and former Catwoman Lee Meriwether. I interviewed Buddy in 1977 and got to know his real-life daughter Kiki when I moderated “A Salute to Prime Time TV Crimefighters” for the Television Academy in 2010. Also attending that event was Ms. Meriwether, who my wife Pam and I had gotten to know earlier when she visited Winston-Salem. On that occasion, we took her out to dinner and then she asked Pam to help her go shopping for underwear. I did not take part in that excursion.

Happy Days …was a Tuesday night ratings winner for ABC until the network moved the show to Thursdays where it fell out of the top 30 for the first time in its 10-year run. Soon after the first season, it became clear that Henry Winkler (as the Fonz) was the star of the show, not Ron Howard, something that irked the former Opie of Mayberry. Years later I got to know Marion Ross (“Mrs. C”) while moderating “A Salute to TV Moms,” and we’ve kept in touch ever since. Marion told me that, at one point, she had staged a walkout on Happy Days because she was not being paid enough. “Ronny came to my house, and he said the producer was going to replace me if I didn’t come back to work, so I went back to work.”

Mannix …Now a cult favorite, Mannix almost got canceled during the first season because the producer thought it would be a good idea to have Mike Connors play an employee of a high-tech computerized detective agency. Studio boss Lucille Ball saved the show, Mannix became a private eye, and the series ran for nine seasons. I got to know Mike Connors when I honored him at the “TV Crimefighters” event. That night he said he envied some of today’s TV action stars who end up each episode in bed with a beautiful woman. “I always ended up getting hit in the head,” said Mike. 

There were a lot of great TV shows on air in 1973, among them: The Bob Newhart Show, The Carol Burnette Show, The Flip Wilson Show, Hawaii Five-O, Kung Fu, The Mary Tyler Moore Show, Maude, Sanford & Son, The Six Million Dollar Man, The Streets of San Francisco, and The Waltons. These and many others are available to view online.

Doctors say that binge eating is bad for you. So is binge drinking.

But so far, binge-watching television shows from 50 years ago hasn’t hurt anyone that I know of. Take it from Archie Bunker, who while watching an old movie on TV said to Edith, “I ain’t seen it more than ten times, so leave me alone.”