There’s an ongoing debate over how and when votes are tabulated in states like California and Florida, but they can’t hold a candle to YES! Weekly, and the egregious election fraud involved with “Triad’s Best.” In fact, problems with this annual list of so-called “bests” are numerous, among them: misleading categories, corruption, and prejudice. I’ll begin with the selection of categories.
The winners in many categories seem to be at odds with the category itself. For example, “Best Romantic Dinner” was awarded to Machete, which is a weapon used by drug lords to hack up patrons who don’t pay. Now that’s what I call romantic.
State Employees’ Credit Union won both “Best Bank” and “Best Credit Union,” but that’s contradictory. SECU can’t be the best bank, otherwise their name would be State Employees’ Bank.
“Best Frozen Yogurt” went to Sweet Frog. I’ve eaten frog legs before, but I do not want frogs in my yogurt, even if it means getting extra protein.
“Best Morning Radio Show” was won by Two Guys Named Chris. The problem is there’s only ONE guy named Chris on the show. That constitutes false advertising, so if Sweet Frog is an advertiser, I’d ask for a refund.
Then there’s “Best Place to Eat After Midnight.” The winner in this category is Neighbors, but I ask you, when is the last time you knocked on a neighbor’s door at 2 a.m. and asked for something to eat? You’re either lost, drunk, or running from someone with a machete.
Now for the corruption. Triad’s Best features approximately one thousand categories, and 98% of them were won by a place called Lockwood Tavern. Best salad? Lockwood Tavern. Best sandwiches? Lockwood Tavern. Best Country Cooking? Lockwood Tavern. Best Bloody Mary? Lockwood Tavern. Best Fried Chicken? Lockwood Tavern. Best Lunch? You guessed it—Lockwood Tavern. The only category not won by Lockwood Tavern was Best Frozen Yogurt, and on that, they were probably cheated. Ask yourself: How did Lockwood Tavern win every category? Just follow the money. I have it on good authority that YES! Weekly Editor Chanel Davis is the major stockholder in Lockwood Tavern. Last year, Lockwood Tavern was hardly mentioned in Triad’s Best, so Chanel must have bought up the stock a few months ago. I also heard that Chanel just bought a yacht and named it “Lockwood.”
Confusing categories and insider trading are bad enough, but the worst crime committed by Triad’s Best involves a clear case of prejudice. For the past 21 years, I have asked to have a category included that would honor “Best Local Public Affairs TV Show,” and “Best Host of a Local Public Affairs TV Show,” however, my requests have continued to fall on deaf ears. Years ago, YES! Weekly Publisher Charles Womack explained that he couldn’t include those categories because Triad Today is the only local public affairs TV show in the Triad, and I am the only host of that show. Said Womack, “You can’t have a category with only one entry.” Pretty lame reasoning if you ask me.
I don’t know what our editor has against me unless it’s because I exposed her insider trading deal with Lockwood Tavern. Nevertheless, this is a clear case of prejudice against an elderly white man with no friends and no stock options. Anyway, despite my protests, I doubt that my categories will make it into next year’s Triad’s Best, and I suppose it’s just as well. If they added a category for best local public affairs TV show, Lockwood Tavern would probably beat me. I’m so depressed, I could eat a quart of frog yogurt.
‘Triad’s Best’ Is Rigged!
There’s an ongoing debate over how and when votes are tabulated in states like California and Florida, but they can’t hold a candle to YES! Weekly, and the egregious election fraud involved with “Triad’s Best.” In fact, problems with this annual list of so-called “bests” are numerous, among them: misleading categories, corruption, and prejudice. I’ll begin with the selection of categories.
The winners in many categories seem to be at odds with the category itself. For example, “Best Romantic Dinner” was awarded to Machete, which is a weapon used by drug lords to hack up patrons who don’t pay. Now that’s what I call romantic.
State Employees’ Credit Union won both “Best Bank” and “Best Credit Union,” but that’s contradictory. SECU can’t be the best bank, otherwise their name would be State Employees’ Bank.
“Best Frozen Yogurt” went to Sweet Frog. I’ve eaten frog legs before, but I do not want frogs in my yogurt, even if it means getting extra protein.
“Best Morning Radio Show” was won by Two Guys Named Chris. The problem is there’s only ONE guy named Chris on the show. That constitutes false advertising, so if Sweet Frog is an advertiser, I’d ask for a refund.
Then there’s “Best Place to Eat After Midnight.” The winner in this category is Neighbors, but I ask you, when is the last time you knocked on a neighbor’s door at 2 a.m. and asked for something to eat? You’re either lost, drunk, or running from someone with a machete.
Now for the corruption. Triad’s Best features approximately one thousand categories, and 98% of them were won by a place called Lockwood Tavern. Best salad? Lockwood Tavern. Best sandwiches? Lockwood Tavern. Best Country Cooking? Lockwood Tavern. Best Bloody Mary? Lockwood Tavern. Best Fried Chicken? Lockwood Tavern. Best Lunch? You guessed it—Lockwood Tavern. The only category not won by Lockwood Tavern was Best Frozen Yogurt, and on that, they were probably cheated. Ask yourself: How did Lockwood Tavern win every category? Just follow the money. I have it on good authority that YES! Weekly Editor Chanel Davis is the major stockholder in Lockwood Tavern. Last year, Lockwood Tavern was hardly mentioned in Triad’s Best, so Chanel must have bought up the stock a few months ago. I also heard that Chanel just bought a yacht and named it “Lockwood.”
Confusing categories and insider trading are bad enough, but the worst crime committed by Triad’s Best involves a clear case of prejudice. For the past 21 years, I have asked to have a category included that would honor “Best Local Public Affairs TV Show,” and “Best Host of a Local Public Affairs TV Show,” however, my requests have continued to fall on deaf ears. Years ago, YES! Weekly Publisher Charles Womack explained that he couldn’t include those categories because Triad Today is the only local public affairs TV show in the Triad, and I am the only host of that show. Said Womack, “You can’t have a category with only one entry.” Pretty lame reasoning if you ask me.
I don’t know what our editor has against me unless it’s because I exposed her insider trading deal with Lockwood Tavern. Nevertheless, this is a clear case of prejudice against an elderly white man with no friends and no stock options. Anyway, despite my protests, I doubt that my categories will make it into next year’s Triad’s Best, and I suppose it’s just as well. If they added a category for best local public affairs TV show, Lockwood Tavern would probably beat me. I’m so depressed, I could eat a quart of frog yogurt.